2o11.

 so i decided to be conventional and post a end-of-the-year post, because im such a conformist like that. newsflash- i wished for daniel vettori/ross taylor this christmas but found neither of them in my 6-feet stocking. santa, if you're reading this (and i know you are) i am truly very upset with you. if you couldnt manage the real thing, you could certainly have sent a doppelganger. your ratings are going waaaaaaaaay down sir. o wait, looks like im not such a conformist after all.

this isn't more about what happened in 2o1o and what didnt, rather a post about what i would like to see happening in 2o11, as a result of things that have happened in 2o1o.

first, foremost and most importantly all thrown in together, i have a very specific demand 2o11. 2o1o was extremely memorable for me, in many ways, and i do not want that anymore. i dont want the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

2o11, consider this begging- but i want you to be stable. you can subtract my fair share of both happiness and unhappiness, but i want stability. i will miss the happiness, but if that means that unhappiness also stays at bay, i dont mind the exchange.

i graduated in 2o1o, i will again in 2o11 (fingers crossed)

i found new best friends and lost a few friends

i started blogging

i got an internship at india's number 1 business channel

i saw myself through student council and the most difficult semester ever to be dealt with

i am dealing with things that have put me down, low and out

i had the best [21st] birthday anyone on earth could ever ask for (thank you All of You again, i loved every minute of that day!)

i heard the best jokes

i worked with some of the best people (isnt it amazing how God's sent some of the most brilliant people to Monash KL)

i found my head and who i was under difficult circumstances

i know the mistakes i made and i hope i never have to see them again, or make them again

most importantly im still alive, breathing, a little under the weather but physically okay.

special mention to the number 7. i never thought this would happen to me, and id estimated the number to be at 4. yknow? but 7 was really surprising. and yknow what 2o11? special post-it note for you- make it 3 year but make them awesome. else, 8. so its like half of good or all of crap. haw haw.

before you start thinking im an idiot, heres what i do want in 2o11:

. friends to weather bad weather with and share the joys of the good weather

. enjoy my field of study to the maximum and make the most of the opportunity

. concentrate on honours till no end so i can do the best i can do (is that silly?)

. live to see more opportunites come my way

. be okay

i also hope you're making no new years resolutions. because lets face it- they're so lame. at least i think so. here's one song id like you to end your year with. 

 

having said all that, perhaps there is no better time for sending out a letter than the turn of the year. therefore this open letter is addressed to the one entity that i, just take a look at it will you!

                                                       ___________________________

dear happiness,

it seems as though you have forgotten my address. you know im in india right now, dont you? please skipalong and come back to me. i miss you A Lot and you almost never visit. whenever you're here, you're only here for a while. what have i done to upset you so that you keep leaving so suddenly, so quickly and take so much time to return? also, your friend 2o11 is coming home soon. please come with him and this time, stay. 

lots of love,

your friend.

ps. i know im a hypocrite like that. so sue me.

and here's a song i'd like you to keep with you always- in good times and bad. 

ouch.

that is all.

Good Morning World.

You know there are some days when you just cant stop smiling?

Well, today was that day for me, on the way to work.

The reason was absolutely nothing.

Except

for

HAPPINESS!

I was like grinning like I'd just found new love.

These songs doubled my happiness.

What made it perfect was that the kaali-peeli wala ( a much more awesome take on cabbie )

was drumming the songs on his steering wheel.

DDLJ. OYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

No one did the 90s like YashRaj did.

Also, is it just me, or does the following line sound like something a stalker would do:

"Dekhe door door se, mujhe ghoor ghoor ke,

Use kaho, kabhi saamne toh aaye".

NO KAJOL. Dont invite STALKERS. You'll get enough worthy attention anyway.

And...

Double whammy!

TWO COMPLETELY DESI DHINCHAK SONGS.

You'd be this happy too if it were you in the taxi!

Merry Christmas!

Now who would like to invite me home for a warm Christmas dinner?

Or even a round of carolling.

I love Christmas, and one day, I shall spend it doing the above activities.

Mama O Mama!

. so mama made the most desi-mistake ever possible. we were talking about something, and she's like, "just give her the burgerberry bag". she meant burberry. 

. so we were at a dinner last night, and through conversation, this aunty tells mama, "i couldnt mail it to you because i dont have your email address". i added, "even she doesnt have her own email address". i think its highly hilarious, but no one else laughed apart from me, which is a testament to the bad humour everyone else around me has.

day one.

11am.

1o.3oam.

waiting-20 minutes.

form.

cnbc id card- press pass inclusive.

ankit the anchor.

happy birthday. 'the 14th of december is an awesome day to be born'.

devika c- ace intern says hello.

vtr tapes.

lunch.

rawa halwa- maharashtran speciality (ankits' offering)

live telecast room.

news desk HELLO!

ticker team.

suresh.

palladium.

shoot. town cars.

trupti.

free mango barfi.

burnt tongue- elaichi chai.

'you just have to throw a fit'.

shoot at wtf.

'i hired you because of your name'.

taxi-3o minute wait.

helpful mumbaikar.

rajendra tiwari- taxi uncle, allahabadi.

AFTER 1 YEAR, I HAD TANDOORI CHIKAAN- INTACT WITH ITS FAKE COLOURING GOODNESS. Bombay is the Best, Boss!

ps. did you know that Kolkota's airport is called Dum Dum? now toh i must go. just to be able to land there!

pps. did you also know that there is a road in Baroda (Gujarat) called Oldpadra Road? That translates into Old Farter Road. HAHAHA.

ppps. remind me to show you an awesome picture i took today, at the mahim wala road.

pppps. what the HELL are hi-definition contact lens?

so this is a wlog post.

. reasons why its a Wlog and not a Vlog are explained later on in the video.

. id also like to highlight that i decided not to transform into something ultra-presentable because i wanted to make it as natural as possible. i mean, i could have worn better clothes and not just done this in my jammies, but yknow, i decided not to. it was a conscious decision. promise.

. that black thing in the background is my hair. im thinking of giving it a name, but i dont have suggestions yet.

. i know the audio is horrible. sorry. ill do better next time.

. if you'd like to be humoured even more than you already are, i suggest you watch this video on youtube and look at all the suggestions on the right hand side. yeap, they're all about beer.

. cameo- my mum's legs.
. soundtrack- the mini fan whirring from the ceiling and road rage-d mumbaikars.

. no. that really IS the way i laugh.

Mama O Mama!

. so we were at home, and just done with lunch. i took over dish-washing duties and while pointing to her ear, mama's like, 'where's the this for the that' (iske liye woh kahan hai?). she was looking for a Q-tip to clean her ears out, but evidently her mind was the muddled element here, because she ultimately found the name for the Q-tip and went, 'wheres the toothpick?'

. later on, i went in to sleep with her and she says, 'this is where i love having you. right with me'. and i asked her why. she replied, 'because i know that when you're with me, you're the safest. right in front of me, right with me. and i know my home is right by my side'. (one day, i wish to have a man who'd echo the same feelings for me. is that like gross?)

. mama toh mama khala bhi Subhan Allah. my maternal aunt wanted some dishes and while trying to ask for some melamine plates, says 'give me those melanine plates'.

. before coming here, i was reviewing a CD of mine, where i reported on the Monash Carnival '08. its sort of very lame, because its just me going around talking to random people from random stalls. but for some reason, i was extremely happy then and just going about being my jolly ol' self. so i put it on just to see if it was working, and lo and behold! mama's right behind me. she soon finds out that its me reporting and proceeds to scrutinising and criticising everything i was doing- which was mainly being happy. she's like 'you keep laughing at everything. youre going to make a pathetic journalist. you'll be talking about a tsunami, and you'll land into a fit of giggles'. to make matters worse, there was a part where i started giggling because this really silly thing happened that still makes me laugh. its not important though to this story. so mama goes into the loo shaking her head, muttering how hopeless i was, and right before she closes the bathroom door, she goes, 'abeer, do me a favour. make a copy of this CD and leave it outside. whenever i'll feel sad, i'll just look at this and start laughing'. then she closes the door, opens it, and says, 'o look. complacent'.

perspective.

just when you think your life is horrible, couldnt get any worse, and is the absolute pits, something no one else should ever be subjected to, perspective comes along.

for me, it was this article.

i hope you revel in it as much as i did.

heroism. courage. life.

Balle Balle!

This is something I have wanted to tell people for quite some time now, but have conveniently forgotten time and again. Bad me, because this is THAT epic.

So in February or summat, I went to watch Valentine's Day with a friend.

The most notable scene for me, was nothing else but the Jessica Biel-thrown party where everyone converges at an Indian restuarant. 

Scenes take place, dialogues are said, and later you see all these Indian people dancing.

Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel join them too.

While he's leaving or coming back (or something I dont care to remember), he sees a reveller (there's also a wedding reception going on simultaneously) and says,

'Balle Balle!'

Now, we all know what that means, but to the transcriber, it must have meant something else,

because the Malay subtitles came out as,

'Perut Perut!'

I think I was the only one who got the joke and saw the mistake he made. Evidently the person thought Jamie was saying Belly Belly, which logically translates into Perut Perut.

Lets Perut Perut to that shall we?

Notable Achievement of the Day

I, Abeer Yusuf, changed a lightbulb.

Single-handedly.

No, just because I'm Indian doesn't mean I was necessarily dancing. I really did change a lightbulb. I dont know why, but I feel ridiculously talented. Yeah, I'll just go sit in my Box of Shame now thankyewverymuch.

world's most interactive blog feature. really.

okay, for this to work, obviously, as it is interactive, it requires YOUR participation.

so here's what you have to do.

step 1. say the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of me, out loud. remember, the first thing you think of when you think of me (i would be beyond honoured if you think of anything non-alcoholic). out loud.

step 2. scroll down.

consider that my reaction.
now tell me that this is NOT the most interactive feature you have ever seen.
and yes, have a brilliant day.

desis.

. so we were in the car and mama saw a singaporean number plate.

'why are there so many singaporean cars in our condo now? SAA 4571 HETCH.'

she was trying to say H.

. last night, papa and i were watching KBC. there was a name in the options of the question in question (see what i did there?), Charles Wilkes. papa pronounced it as charles weelcase.

. every sunday, we go for majlis, or talim as we call it, to this house in kampung baru. they read hadith and discuss in urdu, so we attend it and take part as well. there's malay talim as well, but we dont usually sit in for that because we dont understand anything. the people who conduct the urdu majlis are from fiji, so they can speak perfect urdu, but they speak it in their own way. so after some time when we were done reading the hadith, the malay people came out to call out the fijian aunty so that she'd do abit of the discussion in english and theyd translate it into malay. unfortunately, i couldnt hold my giggles when she pronounced martyr matire and purity punity. i feel so bad.

. the person who's home this is held at is a lovely lovely person called aunty norma. shes got the biggest heart and the best hugs. we speak to her in broken malay and she to us in broken english. shes so full of love and care it just warms my heart. every sunday i go up to her, hug her and say i love you. we're leaving soon, and just as we were about to leave, she hugged me and said  i love you. then she got all teary-eyed. that has to be the best hug ive received in a while.

. mama gets very annoyed when i refer to her as amma, because she's like 'do i look south indian to you?' anyway. i think it sounds cute, so i call her that (+ i like to annoy her). so she's talking to norma aunty, and she's like akka. and im like, are you south indian? and shes like, no, but the malay way of pronouncing sister sounds similar to this. to which i jogged her memory and told her that its kakak. so mama then, being mama, calls her kaKKa, in the process sounding EVEN more south indian. and i was like hello, what's WRONG with you? and shes like ugggh, i dont know! and im like aha. anyway, then she decides to take a more malay turn and address aunty norma as mrs norma. mama goes, 'so encik norma, i want to ask you one question'. i spat some of my tea out and corrected her. its supposed to be puan norma.

Mama O Mama!

. So when Prince William and Kate Middleton got engaged, Mama saw their snapshot in the papers. Later that afternoon we were sleeping and she was like, she's pretty and all that. I said yeah, meh, nothing too great. Then I asked her what her name was.

Mama: "I cant believe you're asking me this. I know her name. Its just not coming to me right now. Wait, yes, I know. Its Kitty Rose something."

. If you know me, you know that there is a term I use very often- complisult. It basically a marriage between a compliment and an insult, and together a word that I have had the privilege of receiving many times over. I picked it from this Hollywood actor who's not so famous (which is why I forgot his name, but I attribute this to him) and he was like, 'its like when someone says i didnt think you could cook so well. Its a compliment because that means the food is good, but an insult because you're like wait what, what do you think you didnt think that?'

So Mama also knows about this word, and coming from the market, where she'd been doled out such treatment herself, she was narrating her story.

Mama: "And you know, he gave me such a complacent".

. Today, we were talking about something, and somehow we started talking about mangoes. Mama, I dont know why was like, 'Yeah, like Mingo Jerry'. And I'm like, 'what's that?' Mama goes, 'I think its a sweet made from mangoes.' I researched it later. Its Mungo Jerry and a band name.

. yesterday night, i finally got around to downloading Toy Story 3. i watched it as soon as it was complete, because ive been waiting a very long time to do so. it was an overly emotional movie for me, because this was the very first english movie (and animation movie) i had watched as a kid in the theatre. towards the end, when the envitable end is near, and all the characters just hold hands in resignation, i started sobbing hysterically, crying for all for Africa. i havent been this emotionally distraught in, well, quite a few days. i was crying so much and so loud that the moment i got out to take tissues (because both my nose and eyes were crying) my mum got concerned about it. i went back to my room, finished the movie and came out to watch Top Chef. mama came to me, bringing her dupatta, and wiped away my tears, and comforted me. 'beta its okay. its not real life. theyre just toys. theyre not actually dying. its alright. dont cry'. when i was a child, and used to cry about similar things id see dying on tv, id cry. im one of those people yes, who in cinemas react to whats going on the screen and take the whole fourth wall thing way too personally, believing its two way communication. i also cry alot in movies, and very hysterically at times. my mum comforting me like that reminded me of how shed do the same when i was 10. im 21 now. i wish my mum's always going to be there to help me get over staged deaths. 

in the same chat, she also told me something else. 'dont take it so seriously. you dont cry half as much when anything bad happens to anyone from our family. the cartoon's arent even real yet you emote so much. you know abeer, we never think this way for our relatives. we never feel sad or cry so much for anything bad that befalls them. and thats not good. because we live around them, we only think negative things about them. we never really appreciate what tough times they're going through. we shouldnt be like that non?'

she also said one last thing. 'why do you cry so much beta? its okay. its not real. but my beta is so sensitive. its a good thing. stay this way'.

three quotes.

. "Nobody deserves your tears , but whoever deserves them, 

will not make you cry."

- Gabriel García Márquez

 

 

. "And I’ve generally found that if you do the right thing by people, they do the right thing by you. The world is funny like that."

- Tom Bradby

. "How can I hate when I have so much love to give?"

- I forgot who said this, and Google isnt making my life any easier!

(so this may not be the exact same quote)

mumbai.

i feel proud to be an indian because of one man,

and that is aamir khan.

i love him,

and have,

ever since

i was

4.

he has his own production house now, and makes brilliant movies.

this is the signature.

if the music doesnt move you, i dont know what will.

there is also a much more updated version of this id like you to see, along with its accompanying trailer, which forms the reason of this post. over the past few months, i have heard many many people say things about indian cinema and its gaudiness and stupidity and whatnot. what many dont know is that india has just as many brilliant filmmakers who make lovely films, worthy of winning india big awards, but are shunned and put on the backburner because they dont have 'faces' in them. this movie, in my opinion, is going to rock your socks. and if you, like me, thought that the soundtrack was Babel-esque, your ears did not decieve you. the soundtrack has been directed by the same guy who did do the music for Babel, Argentinian Gustavo Santaolalla. the actor you see in the first few shots is also someone ive had a huge crush on for some time, and the one after, aamir khan. i cannot wait to buy this movie's music and its material!

that will be all.

i KNOW these people!

"Kids from Raditya Pratama Heruwanto on Vimeo.
The Kumislele's covers for MGMT's Kids, pardon the high pitch xylophone .. Big thanks for Kemi Harahap for lending me her awesome camera !



Camera : EOS 500d - Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II"

i went to university with them! isnt this such an awesome video? the xylophone is so blardy calming, its exciting! im friends with one of them too! because they're on vimeo, they're cool. because im a friend, im cool by that extension.

i havent felt more happie than this in days!

the day i finished 3 years.

to document the day i finished my undergraduate studies, i only thought it appropriate to take a jumping shot as is my finesse, and show it to the world. unfortunately, the only person i had on hand to do it for me was mama. and feeling all liberated and independent, i decided to do them in my pajamas. i thought that id take about 3-4 shots and be over with it. here is what happened, in pictorial evidence.

 

yes, they're all massive fails where lift-off is concerned.

and they're all mama's fault.

but look at me.

im so happie!

i did have one that was successful.

 

but at the end of the day, this was my favourite.

 

 

yes. have a good day.

(these pictures are not meant to be used anywhere without the owner's permission. thank you.)

i need to marry a scandinavian.

now.

i absolutely need to.

i dont care how smelly they are or how questionable their hygiene habits are, but i just need to.

you see, today morning i chanced upon this delightful website (absolutely by chance) and ive been entranced by the numerous amount of ingenious things they have. while owning everything will set me back a few thousand years, ive decided that i should invest my energy instead into flying to the Scandinavian region and grabbing a husband. that way, id get to live in the country, earn the pay, have a Swedish husband and bam! beautiful inter-racial babies only living in the finest Sweden has to offer. i suppose the halal-meat sourcing might be an issue, but we'll cross that bridge when we get there. until then, if you have happen to have a cute Scandinavian friend who could use a bit of brown in his life, you know where to reach me!

me!

. the world on my finger. literally.

. circus-ing. a beautiful pretty necklace. im SO taken by it. arent you too?

. for those cold cold nights. there's going to be many many nights that will freeze my toes off in Sweden, hence its only right that i be prepared with the cutest cardigan in like, ever!

. cute dresses are necessary. because hello, the owner is just as cute!

. VELOUR DRESS!  this is an ABSOLUTE must. you only need to look at it once and be completely in love with it! i LOVE it!

. lace dress! this is just as beautiful. so carey mulligan. so awesome.

. second skin. i dont know what it is about this dress, but im just. in love. this is perfect to twirl in, dont you think? and i love being twirled!

. because im bambi and love headbands! this is the perfect marriage of the two things dont you think?

. cardigan! forget everything else, check out how awesome her hairstyle is! i wants it So Bad!

. in the finer details. you mightnt see the brilliance (yes mightnt) on first sight, but look closely and you'll see what a intricate piece of knitwork this is.

. ah. a vest!  in this we MUST invest! otherwise, abeer will be a pest!

. another cardigan. youre kidding me arent you beer? no. i am not. this is just. im running out of words. eep!

our home!

. the best coat rack. ever. im not even shitting you. i have ALWAYS had a thing for coat racks, and really wanted one for my 15th birthday (yes, i know im weird like that) but never got it (obviously). when i grow up, i shall buy at least 2. one of them will this, you listening mr. swede?

. candleabra. sigh.

. for my countless books. a nice easel-like stand.

. for our knick knacks. and for all the stuff we pick up from our world travels. haaaih.

. look! another bookshelf! JJJYEAAAAAAH!

. mugs! but of course, for our morning tea (you can have coffee if you like, im not fussy. in fact i love the smell of it!)

. speaking of mugs... a tea set! elegant isnt it?

. revolutionary. really. mr. swede's probably also going to be very smart. these people have minds that just work in the most advanced ways!

. pasta spoon. this is so cool, its not even funny. and i love pasta!

colours!

. all these links are just mindblowing brilliant explosions of colours.

. 1

. 2

. 3

. 4

our children!

but of course, as im indian, we need to have many.

. board game. i have no idea what this game is, and i dont even want to play it, but i want to use it to decorate my home!

. barrel of monkeys. not the game but better!

. elephante! this is more for me. not the kids. because i have always aspired to own a stuffed elephant toy. i own a cute little camel already! 

. goats! HOMG GOAT STUFFED TOY!

. sticky tape project. for those countless hours spent with them doing arts and crafts, making pretty things they would soon forget.

. lets measure them, shall we dear? since i was a little girl, i have always wanted a measuring system to see how my kids would grow in height. for me, the grand plan was to have each year, the children measured by a wall to see what height they were at, mark it slightly with a pencil and have them dip their hand in paint and press it on the wall (their middle finger would reach the tip of their marked height). one by one, id have a beautiful wall of hands and heights.

. I WANT THAT LOLLIPOP. honestly my eyes stopped at that. thats an INSANE piece of candy.

not to mention, all the IKEA trips in the world and IKEAN meatballs and Daim cake. my life couldnt possibly get more romantic than this.

quote unquote.

excuse me for the highly common and unimaginative blog post title.

but my mind isnt functioning as of now, and i have come across a brilliant quote that has quite metaphorically, moved me. i hope it moves you too.

anyone who knows me knows how much i admire unsung heroes- the trash collectors, the servicemen, firemen, police officers, Navy personnel, armies, battalions and soldiers. poppies are a momento i shall work very hard to owning one day, for i think its a brilliant tip-of-the-hat to a generation that gave blood and sweat in equal measure to protect itself. i really do love the spirit and emotions movements evoke.

i do not however, condone war or aggression of any sort, specially asymmetrical.

here is the quote. it is in reference to pictures captured by an American photographer of the Korean War, Mr. David Duncan Douglas. as you will read and find out, he is now 93. he said that the pictures were, 

"of what a man endures when his country decides to go to war."

i realise that there might seem to you a mistake in the presence of the of. but it is intentional. i feel like the sentence is complete with those 2 letters. 

perhaps what might also help you consume this piece, is this following music video by Sigur Ros (a very favourite and cherished band of mine!). or any track by them really.

happy birthday dinesh

i love you too.

Good Night World.

Dear Mr. Zach Braff,

Please also consider this post an open letter to you from yours truly.

I will raid your iPod one day.

Stop laughing.

I will.

I'm Indian and 3 quarters of my people are either working at call centers or at Tech Support in Silicon Valley.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

no.

Your desi fan,

A.

good ol' fashioned love.

so i came home tonight, from a very rough day, to a lovely dinner.

i had a brilliant homemade creamy hummus, with awesome arabic bread.

the hummus was just chilled enough, and i lathered the entire dish with lots of extra virgin olive oil, from saudi too (so authentic, arent we?).

it was brilliant. i loved it. it was like arabic m&ms, melting in my mouth. not in my hands.

i also had pav bhaji with the bread i like best- margerine-d and toasted on both sides on slow flame.

i couldnt stop complimenting mama on the hummus she made, and as i was going off to my room, i said it again.

me: "mama it was excellent. outstanding. really. its made me very happy."

mama: "im glad. when you're happy, i get even more happy."

Elmo’s favorite thing that start with the letter Y: YOU! Thanks for being you, everyone!

(if you fail to spot the irony here, we cant be friends. no, not you. yes. you.)

ze haul

so a little time ago, a very good and talented friend of mine, by the name of G, alerted me to a brilliant book sale that was about to take place soon. he mentioned that books go for crazy cheap, and being a book-collector from India, i was a teeeny bit skeptical about his claims, because i mean, hello, i collect books from india! you dont get any deal better than that. 

anyway, he showed me their site and most of the books were going for 8 or 10. ringgit. and these arent just rusty dusty silverfish-lined paperbacks. these were brand new, no dog-ears-for-free hardbacks!

i dragged papa along one fine Sunday to seri kembangan. these people are such geniuses. hold the fair in such a place that only the true booklovers would be enticed to drive all the way to the jungle. unfortunately, by that day, a LOT of books had already been picked up. but that wasnt such a problem, because i got tons more.

here are the books i was able to get!

. india remembered. this book's been written by pamela mountbatten, daughter of the last CG of india. ive been wanting this book for some time, but thought i should give up thoughts for it, since it was quite pricey and all that. i was interested in this book for no other reason apart from the beautiful black and white pictures and the fact that pamela m is the mother of india hicks, something i think very highly of. this book was retailing in india at about 60 or so ringgit. i got it for 10. ringgit. im not even shitting you.

. prince of stories- neil gaiman. i didnt know this was a collection of his interviews and interactions and stuff, and i havent really peeped into the book, so i dont know much about the content, but because its gaiman, i expect to be ear-marking alot of quotes for future use. 8.

. shades of grey. i picked this up because it sounds revolutionary. how so? instead of democracy, we're talking about a time that is ruled by colourocracy. that in itself was enough to make me shove into papa's arms! 8.

. the optimist. you'll see in the right hand side corner, that this is what im reading now. its a lovely little precocious book, and very honest. its got its moments too. best of all, there are these kick-ass optimism quotes at the beginning of each and every chapter. 8.

. quirkology. its quirky, what else? (i cant wait to begin it!) 8.

. beloved, toni morrison. i was able to get my hands only on this classic. i was looking for alice walker's the colour purple too, but was unable to find it. ah well. 8.

. the book of illusions, paul auster. papa didnt let me pick up this book initially actually, he was like, 'why do you want to learn magic?' to which i had to explain this was a fiction book and that no, i wasnt running away to potion classes anytime soon. though i probably should. 8.

. who REALLY RUNS this WORLD? i use the un-uniform capslock because i loved the title. so skeptical. so scandalous. so conspiracy theory/mike moore. its about globalisation and democracy but of course. 8.

. the ants are my friends. this is a book based on linguistics. gaffes, malapropisms, and misheard lyrics. quite fascinating really. 8 (psst, its hardcover too!).

. king. kaiser. tsar. this was actually a nice 2 minute history lesson for me, because i didnt know that these 3 guys were cousins between them and connected so. the whole title goes to say, '3 royal cousins that led the world to war'. i cant wait to start reading it. i love love LOVE reading about history like this! 8.

. put on a happy face. i bought this because it made me smile. and thats what its about. its just pictures of people smiling. bliss. 5.

. invictus. the book thats become a movie. am i the only one who hates it when they reprint now-a-major-motion-picture editions with publicity shots of movie characters on the cover? it totally kills the spirit of imagination for the readers. thank god they havent done that with harry potter! 8.

. haiku mama. 

i thought they were just haikus. 

turns out theyre maternal. 

good fun still. 

(see what i did there? i made a haiku myself!)

5.

. the modern wit. not included in the pictures because i forgot about the last book. its a lovely and funny collection of quotes. witty ones. 5.

14 books. all for the grand total of 105.

happiness is abeer.

Breaking News!

Your asshole ratings have NEVER been this high! 

Congratulations! 

Keep it up! 

Soar higher. Reach for DAA SKY!
In fact, don't let anything get in your way.
No sir! Nothing at all!

Abeer Appropriates

. there is a tree outside my house, visible from our balcony and from further in the house. i have grown up seeing that tree. because i dont know what kind of tree that is and because it resembles subsequent vegetable, i call it the broccoli tree. the broccoli tree is a very funny tree. everytime i walk towards it, it seems to run away. yet as i trace my steps backwards, it begins to come closer and closer to me. for years the broccoli tree has amused me. today i did the same thing. it amused me today as well.

. i want to own a duck. i will own a duck one day. i want to own a duck that lays little babies, who'll hatch and crowd against their mama. so obviously i want a female duck.

. today i cried for all of the Third World population out there. because some days you feel for everybody.

. today i also saw the moon at exactly 6.30 pm. it was there and clearly visible (haw haw). i tracked its progress and saw the sky around the moon (haw haw) go from a bright blue to an indigo, to pitch black. the moon was illuminated, and i couldnt be more fascinated. today was also the 14th, meaning it was a full moon. they say that hearts break with the onset of the full moon. that is why wolves howl and those old wives tales about changes take place on the date of a full moon.

. today i also watched a stray cat in the streetlights. i was enraptured for the longest time by its tail, which it was moving slowly but steadily. the stray cat also kept tossing and turning. i didnt like that, because i thought it was in pain. perhaps, the broken-heart analogy can also be applied to felines. who knows?

. dear you, that was an absolutely shitty move on your part. and one for which you just lost alot of respect.

iman.

iman translates into faith in english. some tend to write it as 'emaan', some imaan, all trying to essay the same emotion from the simple word.

iman is not something one can just conjure from their deep recesses if they want to. it takes time. it takes pure, unwavering absolute belief. iman makes you take huge hits at times, punishing you to see how much you believe in it. iman tests you constantly, cynical of your devotion. it does reward you of course, though that may not be tangible or palpable immediately. iman cuts you off, makes you seem like a hard-hatted person, when in fact you could be the most reasonable person around town. iman shows you how other people react to you, and on a social level, how many people would still associate and identify with you. believing in iman makes you believe. it leaves you weary at times, it sneers at you many others, but at the end, according to me, it rewards you. sometimes you can see it, sometimes you cant.

subsequently, iman cannot be forced upon anyone. you may imprison someone to committing certain acts in order to increase and build iman, but where the mind is not willing, the soul is not willing, there shall be no true iman. iman cannot be extorted out of someone, cannot be used as a method of blackmail. iman is not inherent- it works and sweats and toils, and then forms itself. it is there, inside you somewhere, but it takes its own time and circumstances to bloom and come alive. for some, it comes early, hearty and bearing gifts. for others, its a tough journey of self-discovery and rough roads.

iman cannot be coerced upon anybody. not me, not you, not the person sitting next to you.

that is all.

Abeer Appropriates

. for the life of me i cant do crosswords. i really dont understand them, and if my life were to depend on it, i would fail spectacularly.

. i love nicknames. someone called me a poppet recently. i think ill keep that nickname. abeer poppet yusuf. gottey ring to it dontchuthink?

. there are many many opinions i have on facebook and things i see on it. i expect to be writing a long and drawn out post on it.

. one day i shall own a lot of olive oil, and most of my food would be cooked it.

. one day i will also travel to the Middle East specifically to explore food and the local cuisines. it will be awesome, more so because it will be halal and i will get to eat all the meat and all the chikaan i could possibly imagine.

. i clicked the 'Apply to Graduate' button. i hope i get to graduate. i wonder what it would be like if i were to be asked to give a speech. dyou think i should publish a mock speech on ze blog (or you could tell me straight up that im being extremely conceited)?

. im thinking of starting a vlog on this blog. it would be much more easier to say stuff out and id get to build my portfolio when it comes to future employers. after all, i DO want to be a broadcast journalist. dyou think thats' a good idea?

Gratitude

For Eid, I had haleem, gulab jamuns, a chicken kebab-roll made previously on my request and then some.

A few days later, I was able to eat Mama's special chicken samosas and fine meat kebabs.

I'm really grateful for a Mama like this, who knows that the way to your offspring's heart is through their stomach.

Also, a conversation that transpired between us last night.

Mama: I can't wait to go home (i.e. India).

Me: I thought I was your home.

Mama: No, you're not my home. You're the center of my home.

If you have a Mama too, go hug her. You're the center of her home too.

O Irony, Thou Art A Cruel Bitch

I have been humming this song for the past 3 days, with no idea whatsoever what song the humming belonged.

I found out when I recharged my iPod late last night after approximately 4 weeks.

Heh.

Mama O Mama!

I apologise for this highly late post, but of late, I haven't been able to express my feelings appropriately and been uninspired to post funny stuff.

So here's another edition of what Mama's said, that's extremely hilarious.

As you all know, Prince William just got engaged two days back to K. Middleton, and the media has been gloating on each and every tiny aspect of that. While heading to bed, I started a conversation about it. Now Mama knows just how much I dig Harry and would want him to be my other half, as she knows how much I like Di.

Me: I wish I was Diana's daughter.

Mama: But if you were her daughter, you wouldn't be able to be her daughter-in-law.

Me: Yeah, you're right! But still. I'd want to be her daughter.

Mama: Yeah, that way you'd be a princess right?

Me: Nah, Im not too keen on being a princess. I just want to be her daughter.

Mama: Okay, tell you what. If you want to be Diana's daughter, I can call you Dian.

For those who don't know, Dian in Hindi is akin to a female villian. Genius wordplay on Mama's part.

So we were invited to Mont Kiara for an Eid lunch to these people's place, and they'd recently shifted there. So we were looking for where they were, and Papa had told us that they were at this place called Mont Kiara Banyan. Like the banyan tree. We kept an eye out for it for quite some time, until one point when Mama got frustrated.

Mama: Seriously, where is this place?

(after a minute)

Mama: Such a funny name. Why would anyone want to call their house Banyaan?

Me: (howling with laughter)

For those that don't know, banyaan in our language refers to an undershirt/singlet that men wear. Mama so funny. haw haw.

Anyone who knows me, knows how there are a few certain words that are my staple, whenever I wish to express myself in a particular way. The saddest thing is, I express myself the same way in front of Mama, and it gets very embarrassing when she catches on and starts applying it to conversations with me. Like hello, now I have to find new words to sound cool, because the Law of Coolness states anything your Mama says becomes uncool when she states it.

So we're in a random conversation, as we often are, and she goes:

Yeah, I know what you're going to say. This is LAME. This is so sad. So pathetic. So desi. So Pardesi. So Indian.

I didn't have a comeback because she used up all my cool words!

Happy 25th Anniversary

To my two most favourite beings in Yukon Ho.

And beyond.

You make my life all the more worth living.

(ps. one day, i will own the both of you. and everything your creator ever came up with. just you wait.)

Nights that I dream of. Perfect like these.

Why Calvin and Hobbes remain my favourite. For thought provoking cartoons like these. (Psst, click on the image, it'll go bigger and better!)

The last one ever. (This one wants you to click it too!)

Welcome Home

A moving melody.

Courtesy of T-Mobile.

Makes you want to snuggle with your loved ones does it not?

And sit by a fireplace, drink hot chocolate, or just come home to hug someone tightly.

Here, are the lyrics. Just in case you decide to sing along to it.

I'm so alone, my love without you
You're part of everything I do
When you come back, and you're beside me
These are the words I'll say to you

Welcome home, welcome
Come on in, and close the door
You've been gone, too long
Welcome, you're home once more

I thought of all the things I'd say to you
When you come back to me someday
When you are here and we're together
With all my heart you'll hear me say

Welcome home, welcome
Come on in, and close the door
You've been gone, too long
Welcome, you're home once more

There are so many lonely people
Why must they ever be apart
I hope someday you'll be together
Singing these words with all your heart

Welcome home, welcome
Come on in, and close the door
You've been gone, too long
Welcome, you're home once more
(Welcome Home)

Eeeeeagle!

What I'd imagine Graduation to feel like. 

This is also what I'd like to do one day.

Adam Peterson, I Want To Go Out With You

Dont lie. You know you're jealous of his happiness.

Just imagine, he'd be so happy all the time.

What a perfect partner.

What the Dickens

A cute story that we'd all wish would come true.

We'd be millionaires that way.

Okay, at least I would.

O! Click me! Click me! Please please click me!

we're done.

approximately many days ago, i completed university. 

that particular day i went through many emotions- satisfaction, an overwhelming desire to sleep forever, a sense of eternal freedom from thick texts and words that ended with inanely huge suffixes and perhaps even a return to normalcy.

but can we ever go back there?

to what we were before we embarked on this glorious 3-year long journey? to the state of not being confused by clashing theories, naive in the ways of the world as we were, uneducated about testing times that lay ahead of us?

would we even want to go back to that state?

perhaps this will be normal for us now.

i for one, know that i wish not to return to those times. for i would be deprived of some hilarious company, some brilliant friends who have heaved me through tough and rough times, the privilege of knowing educators like the ones we were fortunate enough to both gossip and gush about, and most importantly the life lessons that make everyday of walking through those gates worth it.

when i told a friend of mine that i was going to blog about the feelings of mine of being an unofficial graduate, he wished me good luck. for there is no possible way that we can group together 3 very intense years of our most formative period of life into a singular post to impress its sheer impact upon anyone who hasn't been through our own unique experiences.

they havent been good times, all of them.

you and i have struggled through our first and second assignments, unable to find the right words and sentences that would help lift our essay from its hopelessness to give it some modicum of respect.

you and i have spent moons in the cafeteria struggling to come to terms with our own idiocy in not spending enough time with our texts when we had the time to, instead cribbing, venting, ranting, what-have-you about how little time we have to complete our assignments and exams.

you and i have have sworn that the coming semester, we'd totally get our act together and manage our time better, yet never actually doing that.

you and i have complained bitterly about cafeteria food, overpriced drinks, parking frustrations, smelly facilities and the like.

you and i have had bitch-faced friends to deal with.

you and i have weathered heartbreak, gotten over it with the help of our friends and begun life again.

you and i have overthrown hurdle after hurdle to come back stronger, humble-r. sometimes we've been weak, but forgotten our troubles amongst hearty company and pressing deadlines.

you and i have over the past 6 semesters, continuously come day in and day out to face challenges minute and overbearing as they were.

you and i have over the past six semesters packed up our troubles to allow them to recede over a pseudo-rest period (holidays as Monash would like to call it) and come back to familiar faces and troubles.

you and i have over the past six semesters, lived, learned, and breathed, as hard as all these emotions may have been at their respective times.

look back on it and tell me that you dont feel proud of yourself.

you have done brilliantly.

you should look into the mirror and think of yourself as a success.

a success that has just graduated.

a success that took 3 years to ripen, be wise and find your footing and calling in life.

a success that will only encounter better and greater things in life.

a success.

ladies and gentlemen, we, the batch of 2008, are done.
(let us lament together the loss of an epic era)

(ps. i have a wish. in march, id like to take 2 pictures with each and everyone of you. one smiling gleefully at the chance of being able to wear graduation paraphernalia and the other exhibiting our crazy kooky side. please look for me amongst a pile of tissues, and follow the sound of indian wailing. i shall be there)

4 words.

these are my four favourite hindi slang words.

. jhakaas. self explanatory. its got such a ring to saying it, dont you think? like you're really involved in the feeling and this is the only word that can aptly and wholly describe what you're feeling at the very moment. remember to extend your aaas for as long as you can for amplified effect.

. ZABARDAST! BRILLIANT WORD isnt it? like the equivalent of saying EUREKA! in times when running around naked was considered uncool.

. mast. ek dum boss.

. bindaaaaaaaaaaas. again, for amplified effect, you roll your aaas. i love saying this word. it makes me feel so carefree and happy, and just take-it-as-it-comes and positive. its a perfect word.

do you have perfect words too? if you dont, i suggest you start sharing them. words are brilliant.

Vintage Bollywood

This is why I'm obsessed with it.

This is why you will be too.

a most peculiar thing.

Turtle dove.

Picture it.

Its a bird.

Dont lie. When I told you to picture it, you thought of a flying white dove in a turtle shell, didn't you?

You know you did. 
(100th post woot woot!)

3 words.

. what does it mean when someone says 'bite me'? i mean, i know you say it when you're angry, but what does it mean? why would you want anyone to bite you when you're angry?

. why do people always write/say, 'it goes without saying that...' when in fact they end up saying that thing that can go without saying?

. i only called this 3 words so that people would click on the link. because i crave attention and i know how to get it. from all the wrong quarters.

Good Morning World.

So up til now perhaps the only widely discussed debate you've heard of is the Rasa Sayang War between Malaysia and Indonesia. Everyone has their say and whatnot. But this post is not about that. Its about what those words embody. Also, you might know (or you mightnt [awesome word no?]), actually its more likely that you mightnt know, but there is yet another third (or 14th) version to it. 

So, here's the first version we're all used to hearing (Malaysia).

This, is the 1960 version you've never heard (probably).

You might be going WTF at this, but I'd like to tell you something. This is a very popular (or maybe its just me and my obsession with old movies) song that many Indians know. When I was 6, my Papa took me to Singapore and we saw a Laser Show at Sentosa. Papa recognised this song and was like, O, it's from that Shammi Kapoor movie, and for quite some time, we thought that the Malaysians or whatever took the song from the Indians, and that it was an Indian song with 2 Malaysian words in it. Years later, hearing it around, we realised how wrong we were and how predictable our songwriters were, even back in the 60s.

The words after Rasa Sayang translate into, Love's name is Rasa Sayang

Jai Hind.

(its cute though, isnt it? and catchy.)

Also, isnt it ironic that we're all battling about a song that is titled Feeling of Love? Or is it just me?

Abeer In Essence

I am sure you wont disagree.

(isnt this also just genius?)

If This Doesn't Make You Cry, I Don't Know What Will

Danny & Annie from StoryCorps on Vimeo.

StoryCorps are awesome. Visit them.

Change?

so i've seen exactly 3 things in the last 2 days that have led me to 1 conclusion- really? is it finally happening? 

(didja see what i did there? 3,2,1. BOOM!)

for starters, you have China and India entering IMF more strongly, which i think is awesome, as we all know of the long-standing ills of this primarily West-dominated institution. im so excited about what this can mean for the future generations. it may take a very long time to effect this or for something solid and substantial to come off it, but hey, baby steps. the last time any progress had been made in this was like, never (such a bimbo, arent i?). so its good. and spells in the long run perhaps some toe-curling change that might not be readily accepted by everyone in the West. maybe now we'll be in a further state of deadlock. where previously only the US and European countries were consulted for loans now they (C and I) will be too, but given that China and India wont readily let their rivals get off easy, perhaps the entire decision-making process will just get more tense and be a dead-end. maybe these guys wont be the good guys we hope they'll be and give less-conditional loans and fairer terms to poor nations. maybe they'll side with the bad guys. who knows? but i for one, hope.

this ones a little tricky. obama, the media darling in india right now, hasnt put a foot wrong, indeed, making the statement that the US will back India's bid to be on the UNSC. face value this means alot because everyone knows how the US is perhaps the most powerful hand in the UN, and how decisions that are contrary to her interests dont often see the light of day. so her backing someone like India, who's known to have made some interesting choices (and is currently at loggerheads with Pakistan and China) comes as good news and a sure-fire sign that the benevolent day isnt too far away. except, maybe it is. though i was certainly not expecting such an announcement (i dont know if this was on the agenda or not for political analysts) it has now brought on a fresh wave of cynicism in me. what if this is a twisted game the big Bo's playing? its a populist agenda, you have a whole loada brownies backing it, this translates into stronger economic and business ties, indian voters in Amreeka will probably vote for him and his party now, economic ties and good business keeps the average Amreekan happy, which is why he'll probably vote for the Bamas' again the next time round. and isnt that last point the most crucial of them all? he and his party have just lost a huge amount of support back home, and this not only serves purpose for the aforementioned, but also helps his image overseas. not just in India, but elsewhere where he'll be seen as the good guy trying to bring about some healthy good altruistic change, thereby garnering the support from World Inc. but theres other hurdles. anyone who's even read the brochure of the UN knows how notoriously slow they are in implementing anything at all.

one of the more obvious pitfalls and faults of democracy? certainly. China and Pakistan wont like this, so they'll go against this entire thing, hold up the process and hopefully, by the time they're done, we'll have a brand new Amreekan President, which means that what USA would want at that time could be particularly different, and perhaps, not so sympathetic to Asia's whiny tunes. again, i hope.

mr. netanyahu doesnt like doing what everyone else is doing. good for him. he just does what he wants. good job mr prime minister. good job.