Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Facebook/Monash Equation

i have seen 6 semesters come and go. 
as such, i deem myself a valid authority to comment on a most peculiar trend i have seen over the last 3 years- the heavy involvement of Monash students on the popular social networking site, Facebook. this is how everything progresses chronologically:


. Week 6- some nerd deems it necessary to press the Panic button pre-emptively by writing out a status that looks more or less like this:
"OMG. 7 more WEEKS till EXAMS. MAJOR STRESSSSSSSSS!!" 

People then usually respond saying, "Hoi, we still have assignments to do lah. Worry about that later".



. Week 8-9- some other nerds/Samaritans discover that the exam timetable is out and proceed to informing everybody about it. They're usually in Engineering, and more often than not, they publish their dates as well.

"HOMG. Exam timetable is out."
2 minutes later:
"HOMG. Exam timetable is out. Worst timetable EVER. I have GNC on the 12th, ANC on the 13 and PNC and GMC on the 14th! Die Monash. I hate you!"
Obviously such freakazoids send us reeling to the WES site too, and soon, EVERYONE's status is no longer synochrised to what opinion THEY have on last night's Man U versus ________ game; instead they're ALL about the exam timetable.

The more carefree and lucky obviously have statuses that look like this:
"WOOHOO. Done on the 14th! [insert Malaysian/Thai beach name], here I commmmmme!"

The more carefree and lucky International students have statuses that look like this:
"WOOHOO. Done on the 14th! Just need to get this shit over and done with and then HOME! 
Here I Commmmmmme!"





. as exams loom closer and closer, more status updates are dedicated to time management/stress and a plethora of other issues:


"MONASH, WHY YOU NO LET ME BRING MY HOT DRINK INTO LIBRARY? 
I NEEDS MY HOT DRINK. HOW ELSE WILL I STUDIES AND GETS Cs?"


"[insert tagged people's names] do ANY of you guys have the lecture notes and slides for MKW10393? 
I need them ASAP. THANKS!"


"Can the people sitting next to me IN THE LIBRARY please BE QUIET? 
I'm trying to [11th hour] study! 
Honestly it's a library, not a FISH MARKET!"


"Best of luck to ALL of Us. WE. CAN. DO. IT." 
(yeah, a FB status is totally going to help)


"Wasted my entire day doing [insert mundane activities like combing hair, FBing, filing nails, FBing, reorganising closet based on rainbow order, FBing] AND NOW IM SO BEHIND. )))))))':"

"I seriously CANNOT wait to get over and done with Exams. TANJUNG MALIM HERE I COME!"



. SWOT VAC:


Some smarty pants at Monash Australia decides to create an FB-wide event titled, 'Semester 1/2 Exam'. Some even smartier pants decide to be too school for cool, and click 'Not Attending'. Very funny guys. Unless you're in the Arts (because yknow, we dont REALLY have exams necessarily). 


Some other copycats come up with a 'After Exam Party'. Everyone clicks 'Attending', acting all excited about the upcoming party, talking smack about booze and babes, but nothing ever materialises. 


All of a sudden, everyone's using Facebook regularly- for the same reasons of course. Procastination.


There's always an upside and a downside of having a birthday during these times. The upside is- you know you'll get tons and tons of FB messages wishing you on your Birthday and more often than not, the well-wishers "would like to wish you a very Happy Birthday. Hope you can still party it up despite/after/before the exams. All the best on the exams too!" 
The downside is double-fold. 
A. They wish you a Happy Birthday and then also mention the word 'exam' in the same sentence.
B. No one ever gets you presents or throws you a birthday bash, citing studies as a reason. 


Obviously more statuses about exams come on, but thats not so important. More importantly, pictorial evidence makes an appearance. Suddenly:
a. Pictures of students 'studying' in the library get uploaded. Of these there are 3 types:
. the ones that got caught actually studying and not giving a damn about who's taking a picture, looking ultra-serious.
. the ones where people are posing, unashamedly, unabashedly in various parts of the Library.
. the ones where people are 'mock studying' with heavy books and predictable facial expressions [and captions] like 'ZZZzzzz.', the 'sexy professor look', etc etc.


b. Pictures from the Internet. Of these there are 2 kinds:
. inspirational quotes.
. funny random time-pass images.


You should notice at this point of time none of the girls will ever look good in the photos. Jus' saying.


FB Wall to Wall conversations are also dramatically altered. They either revolve around when Person A is coming to meet Gang B to 'camp' in the Library and group study, where they're just going to get together and make a racket really, after which they'll order Dominos/McDs, OR 'HOW MUCH HAVE YOU DONE? OMG I'm SO BEHIND. I totally wasted my time..." thereafter proceeding to rant about the day's activities that have deemed studies unsolvable.


The final countdown begins and as exams are just 2-3 days behind, students get the kick.
Some have statuses like this:


"12 days to go."


Others,
"Okay guys, I'm deleting my Facebook. Anything important call me on 012.xxx.xx.xx. KTHXBAI!"
[Chances are, they'll be back on within 3 days]



The fresh Snarky graduates:
"So glad I dont have to sit for any more exams! All the best to the others!"


The fresh Nice graduates:
"Best of Luck you guys! Just a little more and you'll be done."


Addicts:
"COFFEE. NEED MORE."


Library Campers:
"WHY THERE NO SPACE!"






Lastly, during exams:
"One down, 3 to go."




After:
Doesn't matter. 




. After 3 years of studying in Monash Sunway, this only recently occurred to me. We dont have a single pay phone in the Entire University!

3 comments:

  1. My birthday is June 1st. So yeah, exams and birthdays - not the best mix. Only 7 exams of my life to go *groan*.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Mine is in October, and for all my time throughout my academic life, exams are either right then or just round the corner, which everyone uses as a valid excuse. Pssshaw.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I love you, seriously. -.-

    ReplyDelete