The World's Most Hilarious Waiter

So today for lunch, I had the honour of being picked up by my two best, Regina and Shangari, in the pursuit of food, KL-side. Facing the Curly Haired Conundrum[1] as we often do, we contemplated, deliberated and ated ated a little bit more while on the roads, after which we finally decided that we ought to go to Al-Rawsha, which has value-for-money Arabian food and is a favourite haunt of the Yusufs. 

Somehow after chasing our tails metaphorically in a car, of which the acronym expands to What The Hangari[2]

we reached our tacky castle-like destination.

Now before we go on, I must give you some backstory.

2 visits back, I was witness to a hilarious slip. Anyone who knows me, knows how much I giggle and unapologetically burst out laughing at those who slip, fall, tumble, or even sneeze (yes, I'm bizarre). I dont do it with malicious intention, I even want to help the person involved in the accident, but I. Just. Cant. Control. My. Laughter. So anyway, we were having dinner, me and the other two Yusufs and towards the end, Papa Yusuf got up and went over to talk to some person somewhere. As is characteristic of him, he didnt push the chair in. Mama and I were still having dinner and while eating, I realised that someone was looking at me. Like watching me. I looked up to see who it was, and from a bit of a distance, I see one of the waiters just staring at me. Unapologetically. No averted gazes, no smile, no shame. Nothing. So I stared back at him. And he held my gaze and walked across the hall. Unfortunately for him, it wasnt long before he walked into Papa Yusuf's chair while staring so brutally at me. And as that happened right in front of me, I burst out laughing. In all seriousness I was thinking, 'serves him right'. Mama obviously didnt know that he'd been staring, so she reprimanded me immediately for being so rude (afterwards she even complained to Papa that I was a very rude child). Also, he was carrying a tray full of stuff. And he almost lost his balance and all that, but because the hit wasnt so bad, nothing toppled or fell. Thank God, or else I wouldnt have been able to stop laughing until we'd left (and we all know that looks really bad especially with the way my laughter sounds). 

And yknow whats the best part? That didnt deter the man from staring at me, even after he'd left the scene of the slip. He was staring now, from a distance. There were 2 moments that night when he walked past me, tending to some customer or the other, but each time I saw him, I'd dissolve into a pool of silent hysterical giggles replaying his near-tumble from the time before.

Anyway, back to the present.

So we go in, sit down and before you know it, the dude is right there. I thought he wouldnt be, because we went for the first time during the day, and he's usually on a night shift, but I was proved very wrong. Here's the kicker. As we took our seats, I saw him walk off into the kitchen and quickly pointed him out to Shang and G, who'd known about the incident and laughed along when I'd recited the story to them. I didnt realise, but soon enough, I got the feeling that I was being watched. I look over and right in front of the kitchens, the guy had set up a chair, and sat down. And was staring straight at me. He had a ringside seat to watch me eat. I mean seriously, how freaky is that?!

Anyway, somehow I put him out of my mind and we ordered our food. Shangari's came from the kitchen, and guess who brought it over? Yes, Mr. Waiter. And he came over, and just placed the dish in front of me without even telling us what it was. I said Thank You, and he replied extremely enthusiatically, Sama sama (you're welcome in Malay) and left. For 3 minutes we debated what the content of the sandwich was, because last I remembered, shawarmas came from the front of the restuarant, and weren't prepared in the kitchens. Anyway, took a bite, found that it was in fact Shangari's order and not mine, and passed it onto her. Our dishes arrived soon and we began eating. Mr. Waiter was still sitting and staring, but by then I was oblivious to his presence.

Within a while, we began feeling hot. Co-incidentally, Mr. Waiter had gotten up and was walking around our table (maybe going somewhere) and I asked him if he could increase the speed of the fan. Barely finishing my sentence, he looked at me, starting rubbing his forehead, and started giggling. I have no clue why, but that is exactly what happened. And then he just left. And I was like Okaaaaay. In a minute, the fan that was already not going fast enough, gets switched off. Mr. Waiter, without waiting to hear what I had to say and collapsing into a fit of giggles, thought I'd asked him to switch off the fan. I made an exasperated sign, and I think he realised that I wanted the opposite, so he switched it back on.

The fun doesnt end there.

We finished our meals, being stared at by Mr. Giggles[3] from different angles, and while we were going through our baklava (which by the way is awesome at Al-Rawsha, because they have a bakery there and its not imported), he comes over to the table, plops a glass of cold water, smiles that freaky ass smile, and leaves.

We pick up our conversation and go on.

3 minutes later, another glass of water arrives, again, right in front of me.

We pick up our conversation and go on.

4 minutes later, ANOTHER glass of water arrives, right in front of me.

And I cant stop myself from guffawing about the idiocy of this. How MUCH will I drink man?! Anyway, it turned out okay for us, because we were all thirsty and we all got, uh, free water.

For the umpteenth time, we picked up our conversation and went on, laughing and making memories.

The icing on the ice was when, within a few minutes, Mr. Giggles eventually brought a whole JUG of water and placed it right in front of me. Seriously, who does that?!

We left soon after calling for our bill, hoping that we wouldnt need a bubble to guide us back home.

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[1] Is a concept I came up with. Whenever G, Shang and I go out for lunch, we’re almost always at a loss for places to go, because being women, we cant make up our minds. One of us eats halal food, the other is a vegetarian, and the last is a little high maintenance who insists she wont be caught dead eating McDs (she’s not that bad though, she’s a foodie!). When this occurrence took place over 2-3 times, I came up with this concept, since we all have curly hair. Doesn’t it sound like an episode title from The Big Bang Theory? Yes, I think I’m a genius too!

[2] One day, G was talking about Shangari, and instead of saying Shangari, ended up saying Hangari. It sounds a lot like hungry, which is very  funny according to me. So WTH.

[3] Nothing. This is just here to show you how cool I am. I mean, seriously, how many other people dyou know who footnote their blogposts?! JJJYEAAAAAAAAH!

Dear Abeer,

Dont forget today. Remember today when you're upset next, read this and remember just how happy these moments made you. For having friends that would drive all the way from uni, to pick you up from your home, only to take you out lunch, then drop you back and head BACK to uni. And of course, for being offered enough free water to run the Nile for a day.

A.