Thursday, March 22, 2012

Mama O Mama!

. So last night Mama was cleaning fish and given how its discarded parts stink, Mama made me take out the trash. Being a little ultra-conservative since it was nightfall (which is when Jinns are said to come out and linger around tree-like places, among other criteria, which is incidentally where the garbage bin is), my khala (mother's sister; aunt) got all Negative Nandini and went 'no no i'll take the trash out' and 'there are witches there and spirits and whatnot' (choorael or pontianak, whichever).  To which my Mama responded by giving me sagely advice, "Abeer, if the witch comes out in front of you, you scare her by screaming at her." Then pauses. And goes, "No, wait. Just untie your hair and she'll be scared of you."

. So anyone who knows me knows that a baby prankster resides in me. And what most people dont know, is that I fall for my own traps. Like, its not even funny how many times I've forgotten a trap that I've set up for someone to walk into or something and its gone haywire because I have fallen for it. Anyway, so the thing with the shower at the home I'm at is that there is a lever contraption that allows you to change the water flow from showerhead to taphead. You get what I mean? And I happen to be the only one who bathes like a queen with water blessing me from above. So I'm the only one who switches the mode from taphead to showerhead. And usually, after I'm done, I switch it back to taphead, but one particular day, I wanted to be naughty and have someone get blessed with water from above. So I let it be as it was and left. Hours later, I went in to wash my feet and came out with water on my back. And with no one to be pissed off. The next time I showered and felt naughty I did the same thing. But this time, Mama went in and got rained on massively. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That is all.

. Since my khala's my mum's sister and they're related and all that, I think this post can come here. My aunt teaches at a local girls high school and it being examination time, she receives all sorts of answers on exam papers. One particular tale she was recounting was extremely hilarious. A student who mustnt have studied too hard ended up writing a tiny portion of her paper in pencil, writing to an unknown examiner (my aunt) to please not let her fail and somehow manage to pass her. She also instructed the examiner to erase the written portion in pencil so that no one would find out and added her address and phone number if the examiner marking would want a remuneration. Given that the child only scored a 2 out of 60, it was kind of hard to pass her.



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Abeerism.

I believe in Hell. Not for any other reason, but because I believe that there is gruesome fate that awaits those who ordain it without a care in the world. 

I'm looking at you, Governments and Kings of "the people".