Sunday, August 21, 2011

Mama O Mama!

. Remember how I wrote in a previous post about Mama going out to the balcony and randomly shouting out 'Abu Zar'? She did the same thing again yesterday night, but much worse. Much Much Worse. So she's standing out in the balcony and I go join her, just to yknow, talk to her and whatnot and she sees these people below talking to each other. There's a little apartment-like building right below our condominium and these people are conversing with each other- a few on the road talking to whoever in the balcony of that apartment. And Mama starts shouting again, 'Abu Zaaaaar' 'Why dont you listen to me ever!' And Im like 'Mama stop it! they can hear you!' They dont, of course, because she isnt loud enough, thankfully, and then they leave. She keeps going on though, calling out to Abu Zar. 
Right then I see an actual kid peeping out our building. Not towards us, just randomly looking out somewhere and  im like, "Mama, you can actually call him that. I'm sure he'll listen." And to my utter surprise Mama says, "Quick, give me a Hindu name"(not because of any prejudice or anything, but because we know the kid's Hindu). Obviously I falter and struggle so she starts going "Ajay! Vijay! Sony! Mony! Karan! Arjun!' And loudly too, mind you. He doesnt hear her and leaves. 
Then we see a lady coming towards the building. Mama looks at her and starts shouting, 'Sangita! Anita! Sita! Gita!' Then goes, 'Quick! Give me a Tamil name!' (not because of any prejudice, but because alot of South Indian nurses live in our building). As is typical of me, I cant give her a name so she goes, 'Vijii! Vanita! Shantiiii!' They dont hear her either. 
Then Mama sees a Malay girl coming towards the building wearing a tudung, so she goes, 'Nur Ateqaaaa! Hazlinaa! Hazlina! Azlina! Sharifaaaaah! Why is no one listening to meeee!' 
By the time she's done screaming her glory guts out, I'm left in a pool of tears because its all so funny and she's calling out random generic names to people that cant even hear her.

. While we're out there, Mama doesn't realise that Papa's come back home. So one last time, she sees an Indian man, wearing a lungi (sarong) and goes 'Mamujaaaaaaaaaaaan' (Mother's brotheeeeeeer!). And between tears and an exploding sideache, I ask her why she's calling him that. She replies, 'Because he's a mamak (name given to Muslim Indian people) and looks like an uncle. So I must respect him.' So she carries on, but doesnt realise that Papa has already heard her. He comes into the hall and calls us out and tells Mama off for screaming into the night. Then when he leaves, she looks at me and goes (word for word), "Papa noh? Not sporting at all". 

. A while later after we're both done with our random stuff and prayers we both end up at the balcony. She has a kachori in her hand, a savoury Indian snack, and she starts trying to force feed it to me. After resisting for a while I give in, but not before Mama goes, "Lala lala lori, dud ki kachoriiii" (milk kachori). I spit out remnants of kachori upon hearing this. Those uninitiated wont recognise this, but the above line is actually from a lori (lullaby) which goes, 'Lala lala lori, dud ki katori (bowl of milk).

. Prior to all these shenanigans, we were in the kitchen where Mama was making chai. She added shakar (sugar) to both our mugs and upon stirring and tasting it, went ''O there isnt enough shakar in this." I replied, "Yknow, mujhe laga tha ke shakar enough nahi hai" (Yknow, I felt that there wasnt enough sugar). She retorts, "Kahan laga tha?" (Where did you feel it?).

. On her insistence, this last incident has to be mentioned. While clearing up the chai pot and stuff, she noticed that she'd dropped a little. I was sitting quite away from her and the pot and stuff, and I'd just concluded laughing about something inane. She goes, 'See what you did? You laughed so much that you blew my chai away and now it's made a mess'. Yeah, I didnt find it funny either, but she insisted. And Mama gets what she wants.

1 comment: