so here's another batch of my tweets which i found memorable and before twitter completely erases them or something i would like to remember them somewhere. hence the collection. most of the time i dont even know who im directing my tweets towards. kindly dont think im passive aggressive. all of these tweets are between april and june '11.
My ideal daily diet would consist of cuddles, snuggles, hugs, and hrushes.
The Hobbes in me cancels out the Calvin that tries to possess me from time to time.
The world needs more noble, courageous, honourable and chivalrous men like you, Desperaux Telling.
Found my Mulan number! http://youtu.be/LCzbYxwcsIE
I, Abeer Yusuf, am the rightful owner and creator the term 'hrush'. Kindly make sure you dont breach the copyright and attribute it to me.
Yknow, its interesting how we keep debating about whether its tuh-may-toe or tuh-mah-toe, when we could be asking the same of potatoes!
I'd actually like to petition for this cause. Why so tomato-ist? Just because we have tomato ketchup and no potato sauce? Mean I say!
And that should get you thinking. Why does society not have potato sauce?
Today I saw a building getting shat on, by a pigeon. #thingsthatmakemyday
Only @HibaElshafie is capable of a line like, "Guns are old school, words are our new tools"
When I was a child my smile looked like Shahid Kapoor when he smiles. What's so cool about you?
How is it that every Indian actress who becomes famous starts using Lux, Cynthol, or Fem sabun at the very same time she becomes famous?
On Cultural Night, I'm going to be the only Parliament-sari-wearing girl in the midst of sexy clingy sari wearing girls. Jai Hind.
Ross Taylor, Y U NO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME? O wait, You Just Havent Met Me Yet.
Seriously, if I have to hear the stupid Dil Mein Baji Guitar song one more time, I'll smash an air guitar over someone's head. #ipl
Doesnt it comfort you that 4 years on, some things still havent changed? Like Ramesh Powar's sunglasses? #ipl
Mere Baap Pehle Aap Alternative? Pehle Hum, Begum.
You should be able to get out of your computer and hug the person you want to hug. Gah, someone invent this please!
"Being able to make light of situations doesn’t mean they’re light." -Carrie Fischer
Yesterday a boy said I looked like a swan. Then he told me I'd fit right in with the Long Neck Tribe in Cambodia.
It's a good day for me when a boy pays a compliment by saying, 'you look tall today'. The other day I heard, 'you look long today'.
No, you dont bleed blue and yes, please stop cracking the saucer-cup joke. Get over it already.
There is nothing sexier than a thin Hermes H belt. I will own one one day.
There is, similarly, nothing more sartorially disgusting as a man wearing a thin Hermes H belt.
I like saying that i love something to bits and biscuit pieces. I hate biscuit pieces. But it sounds rather lovely that way, dont you think?
I wish my face were made out of bread.
Ma: Yknow Southee's going to Saudia Arabia soon. Me: Really? What for? Ma: Because his name's Southee. #desi #pun #IPL
Dear all, I have always had those legs. Just because I choose to now show them, doesnt mean they didnt exist before.
#wordsthatmakemyday "you're natural and original and we share a bond and i feel like being there for u and u have ALWAYS been there for me".
#wordsthatmakemday "you're not like other people for me. you're special."
#wordsthatmakemyday "you're awesome bee. you have this ability to light up anybody's day".
my gums dont want to hear you talk. youre chewing just a little too slow for meeeeee. boy im so bizarre.
I, Abeer Yusuf, am of the opinion that everything in life can be solved with a hot shower and a good night's sleep.
#thingsthatmakemyday squishing sponges.
I like how assumptionist horoscopes are. They all assume you have a job, a partner, a home and everything one needs in life.
#thingsthatmakemyday knowing that 5 sens/cents still have some value and that you can still buy a Kopiko from it.
Man, I wish my face looked like a cookie. I wish my face WAS a cookie!
Seriously, why does NO ONE want to take me on a date to IKEA?!
I like how people have taken to calling me A and B, whatever nickname takes their fancy. Now if only E were to catch on somehow.
A love that belongs in one of Jack Johnson's songs.
thingsthatmakemyday seeing a message that says "Saya rindu kamu juga banyak-banyak".
Kindly dont expect me to respond to 'my penis would like to say hello'.
With anything less than 'my vagina would like to slam the door in your face'.
Anything is instantly cooler when spelt with zz's. Anythingzz izz coolz withz zz'z. That was such a cool tweet non?
There is a place in Egypt called Zagazig.
any man that uses the word ameliorate in a conversation is a man worth paying attention to.
chunky chaddis, brah.
"Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing"-Bill Cosby
""R" is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder and not mukduk." -Dwight Schrute
Abeer Yusuf- bringing you today's tweets, tomorrow.
dont you just love the love that comes your way on a daily basis? #thingsthatmakemyday
#thingsthatmakemyday when friends lament that they dont have a single picture WITH me.
Use your dimples. On me.
if there is one thing in life my Honours supervisor needs to appreciate me for, its the creative email titles I send him.
@nainaa i want someone to tickle my bum. haw haw.
dear you, waltzing is always better when there's no music. and when you twirl me.
my friend would like to call me Abiah. i sound like im from tanjung malim man!
@itsnotthatpunny what happens when buddha cries? its raining zen.
i can be your pocket-sized phataka. though there is nothing pocket-sized about me.
Dear God, thank you for giving me curls. At least I have something to fidget with.
You're a gone case, in a suitcase.
My love for you is like ninjas- invisible.
you're a little bizarre. in the 'i need to tilt my head sideways to understand you' kind of a way. that is not a good thing.
you know that things are not going well when your tights get loose.
when freedom comes to mind, you realise you're nothing but tiny matter in a laborious grind.
dont you feel that when you're tryina express go in a drawn out manner on the Net, you end up creating a synonym for shit?
"One sees clearly only with the heart. What is essential is invisible to the eye" - The Little Prince
The most saddest thing on the cafeteria boards is the breakdown of language- everyone's 'liking' comments they agree to. Sad days
Best comment on the cafeteria boards? The citing of the Donoghue and Stevenson case. #MUSA
Little known fact: One of the vendors has written his own comment on the petition board- the one with the 3 pointers. #MUSA
In my next life, I must be an African, just to attain those crazy awesome dance moves.
Are narwhals and unicorns cousins?
dont you not enjoy double negatives?
you know what they say, you cant spell Titanic without tit and stretching without retch.
I know what I should name my child. Sirius Lee Abeer. HAW HAW.
Ramlal's Cafe is the desi response to Pop Tate's.
A mature man is a contradiction of royal sorts.
Please excuse me while i go drown my sorrows in jalapenos. Straight up, on the rocks.
#wordsthatmakemyday "ek dum mast, Abeer".
#thingsthatmakemyday singing songs completely off-key, off-pitch, off-everything OUT LOUD. because they hold memories for you.
yknow how embarrassing it is when you spell snoopy as spoony? very.
Am I the only one who thinks that Paparazzi would sound amazing as part of an acapella performance, or an acoustic choir? Perhaps.
Society is so sexist. Why is it PAPArazzi and not MAMArazzi?
the word 'love' is so overmanufactured and overused in commercial commodities.
If I ever tell you that I want green chillies with my Maggi, kindly dont listen to me. My name is Abeer, I dont know any better.
Hi, I'm Abeer. Would you like to fall in love with me? Condition- you have to stay in love.
I just dissed a friend offering me desi mithai (sweetmeats). I asked her, "are you high on desi ghee?"
Inzamam-ul-Haq seriously needs his own action figurine. Seriously.
i demand hoodies!
Baster is the new way of spelling bastard.
naam hai azaad, lekin halaat hai shehzaaad.
i most definitely need therapy. or that thing called a life.
im sorry, but im not a fan of proving my ignorance on matters i know little about to an audience of friends.
I love how people so happily comment on the fact that they're in my profile pictures. #thingsthatmakemyday
Yes, I'd like to nominate my extended family for Best Addams Family Impersonation, thankyouverymuch.
"Yknow whats funny, Abeer?" "What?" "How you guys have Honours for Arts." *proceeds to flip the bird*
Sorry, I lost my 'Dont Give A Tapir's Ass' face. Until then, let my 'Compassionate' face console you.
Dear Papa, a couple with 2 school-going kids are not, in any universe, considered youngsters. Kindly rephrase yourself.
even my thoo is wasted on you. shit. that could be such a cool desi indie song.
[insert crappy Abeer-ian analogy]
firmer glories, not former.
I love lying more than peace.
I think your tit just got tatted.
you're such a shoebag. HAHAHAHA.
There's a poster in this world that says, "Kate Loves Willy". Another reason to never name your child William.
You cant spell dangerous without anger.
@itsnotthatpunny once png and jpeg got into a tiff. GEDDIT?
You cant spell betrayed without the word tray.
I cant spell apostrophe. This is such a catastrophe!
he so man, he ought to be referred to as man man.
that awkward moment when you spell Tolstoy as Tolstory.
So today I looked like a complete spaz in the mall, screaming on the phone with jubilation and getting awkward stares from a white man!
Who'd want to be fantastic when you can be spaztastic?
@itsnotthatpunny, I put the pun in punk.
Hi I'm Abeer Yusuf, brilliant by day, epic by night. What dyou do for a living?
that awkward moment when you spell Windows Movie Maker as Windows Mokie Mover.
My hand says Pity Pays.
i would like to escape to the Maldives with my iPod and never-ending battery. or any part of Polynesia.
you have no frame of reference.
@HibaElshafie I think one of my day's highlights was singing the Harry Potter theme tune with you. It made my day. (O: Thank you!
no, kindly keep your virtual hugs to your virtual self.
Me: Man my dream was disgusting. Her: Its just a dream, it doesnt mean anything. Me: O yeah? Tell that to Freud.
i just want to be hugged by an elephant's trunk. is that so much to ask?
People Magazine's cover caption for the Royal Wedding is 'Love Reigns'. Despite myself, I love that title.
if you loved me, you'd buy me an elmo hoodie.
Being an optimist comes naturally to me. My blood group happens to be B+.
see you on toothsday!
Daniel Defoe, your name reminds me more of Sir Edgar Allen Poe.
attachments of a textual nature.
you're so narrow-minded, i bet even ants find it hard to push through the alleyways of your mind.
If there were ever a Shrine for Insensitivity, I'd suggest your picture be the image prayed to.
I think you need to buy tact the next time you visit the grocery store.
eww and you. o look, its even rhymes. guess it was meant to be huh? hyuk hyuk.
so many divided selves, so many frames of reference, such exhausting multiplicities.
anyone who has to describe themselves as sarcastic, is in my opinion, anything but.
there are so many reasons to be angry at the world, and just one to be happy. the fact that you're alive and that you have a beating heart.
you so fat they label the extra loose pants in the XXL section 'tights'. just for you.
so apparently in Italy, it doesnt matter how many dragons you kill, what matters is that you bring the princess home.
'Homemade warmth from the freezer'. Way to sell a product, America.
I asked my mum what colour skin tone I had. She said Dalmatian.
Yaaai, Sabyasachi ne jhooth bola! haw haw.
Gah, what I wouldnt give to be lost right now, in the suburbs of Lower Parel, trying to find a way home with Svati Maddur, at 12am.
come here you hunkalunka big lovable bear you!
The song goes 'teri kali kali aankhen' for a reason ladies. Because you know it'd sound retarded as 'teri neele neele aankhen'.
'Say it, don't spray it'.
Ladies and gentlemen, there is something in this world called confusionism. Dont even get me started on what Confucious has to say about it.
OSCAR AND THE LADY IN PINK!
there are enough of us governed by hate. lets love instead!
such comedy of errors. there is NO door handle at my university floor. NO DOOR HANDLE. can you believe that?
such comedy of errors. there is NO door handle at my university floor. NO DOOR HANDLE. can you believe that?
that awkward moment when you refer to someone as 'my lobe', rather than 'my love'.
quit rapping about how 'cliche' a statement is. the only reason its a cliche is because it holds true for so many people and situations.
Kindly step back. My company is about to blow your mind away. I need to sneeze.
"you are surrounded by nothing but love." what a lovely thing to say to someone no?
mein teri kaali billi, tu mera gora ghoda.
i would like to leave Earth laughing.
Yum is not the first word that comes to mind when you think of yam. More like um?
That awkward moment when you write pubic places rather than public places.
#thingsthatmakemyday being lifted off in hugs from friends.
Clean the vacuum of my heart, why wont you O?
I apologise in advance if my unholy Haramness gets in the way of your Holy Halalness.
Seen on an image: "There is no gravity. The world just sucks".
#thingsboyssaytome "Ever heard of a comb, Abeer?" My reply, you'd be interested to know,was "at least I have hair to be combed.You're bald."
hum do, hamare chaar.(:
You know you're having a bad day when your Indian friend tells you on a intl phone call that YOU have a really thick Indian accent.
Nothing makes me happier than Kamal Hyder's sign off- 'Kamal Hyder, Al Jazeera, Pakistan'.
"you're one person i hope never to lose touch with"- #wordsthatmakemyday
My metaphorical onion- you.
Abbe yaar, tu aam ka achaar, dikha de apne andar ke vichaar!
Maldivian men can be called Male
Just call me Cuddles.
I need to start my chai with a day.
If you would like to NOT date me, the best way would be to say that you use a competing telecommunications network.
That awkward moment when you congratulate someone on motherfood, rather than motherhood. Thank God it wasnt me.
To douche or to dork, that is the question.
That awkward moment when you spell harami instead of hamari.
when i grow up one day, i will nuzzle a dolphin.
That awkward time when your boyfriend influences you and you refer to yourself in 3rd person is only possible if your boyfriend is Elmo.
org suffixes are always just a letter away from orgy.
It is because I am unable to find anything more suited to this moment that Mama's adage that I use "crush ne crush kar diya".
You coulda, shoulda, woulda. But yknow what? At the end of the day, you're just another barracudda.
it takes a huge person to forgive someone who robs you of your smile, doesnt it?
O phew, almost made a fool of myself. O wait, I've been acing that trait since I was born!
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