When I Was A Kid

I never played with Barbies. My mother didn't believe in having young girls play with Barbies, intimately touching what was a very developed model of a woman, and twisting and turning her into weird positions. She also didnt like the fact that a child would ever grow up thinking that it was Barbie's image that you should aspire to be.

She didn't really need to worry. Whenever a Barbie would by mistake come into my hands, since I had no better application of it, I'd dismantle her head, flatten it and laugh. I thought it was hilarious. And because I couldnt cut my own hair, I'd give Barbie haircuts for free. Those same styles you see Rihanna sporting today, I was cutting that up when I was 7. Honest. 

And then when I got super-bored because Barbie didnt have any hair left (I loved cutting her hair just to get to the ends of it, where there'd be these little sprouts. I thought humans had hair like that too), and because I was bored of seeing her flat face, I'd dismantle her arms and legs. And use highlighter and paint her legs. 

The Barbie would be pretty much destroyed after that.