trust.

why have we become so difficult as humans nowadays? why dont we trust each other? why do we constantly safeguard ourselves and shelter and cushion our falls, make sure no one gets to us, near us; believe in them, take their word for something and let go? why are we constantly doubting the good faith someone might have, a moral judgement someone might have made with regard to a certain situation? why is it necessary for us to place a sinister, ulterior motive behind everything? why cant we take things and people at face value anymore? 

why is it that we believe there to be a superior reason to behind why someone would want to associate with us, apart from what is apparent to the eye?

why is it that we cant open up, tell someone what we really feel to the recesses and resonance that we feel it at? why are we so afraid of something going wrong? think about it, if this trend continues, if we keep relegating and stepping into these mental straightjackets and quit opening ourselves, we'll one day amount to nothing. everything will be within us, nothing out, and we wont ever be able to move. because everyone knows you need an outlet, a trust outlet. family, friends, lovers, whoever. you need an outlet. but maybe because we're so scared of being judged, of what is being thought of us, of how our revelations to people might let them have a hold or an advantage over us, that we just lose out on being humans entirely. we're so afraid that by opening up we're letting such a private part of us go, and that by saying things we're exposing ourselves to potential blackmail and misuse of trust that everything is just hidden beneath, buried under the sadness that is our life.

you and i, we shouldnt be this way.

this post has stemmed out from the fact that someone has changed the bookmark positioning in my book. I CAPITAL HATE IT WHEN SOMEONE DOES THAT. HUUUUGE PET PEEVE!

also, a pulse has been throbbing incessantly for the past 3 hours near my left eye. i dont know why. its extremely annoying and i felt that it totally belongs in this unrelated post about trust.