Abeer Appropriates!

. i had thought of an entirely awesome beginning for this edition of AA (haw haw!), but ive forgotten it.

. i remember it now. it was.

. i came back from india with 48 kilos of check-in baggage and an indian accent. the next 2 months are going to be very hard. quote unquote, 'dude, your accent's fucked'.

. this is the problem with me. i forgot all the awesome things i think of! i hate it when that happens. i wish my mind had a capture machine where i could store all my thoughts as and when they'd come to me, and then take them out of a bank to use them as i please. and blog about them, more importantly.

. i think its very sad that the highlight of Honours for me is the fact that i get my very own table, DESKTOP COMPUTER (OMYGOD) and tiny little space to decorate. its even sadder that at this point that is all im thinking of.

. before i forget, i came up with a brilliant insult out of the blue. lest i forget, i reproduce it here for your pleasure. 

'someone's left your asshole switch on for too long. its about time someone switched it off. that someone is me.'

. okay, so the line was supposed to sound a lot more suave than this. i sound like bruce willis about to pound the living daylights out of someone.

. so going back to original point. i came in to uni today for my first day and guess what? I HAVE MY VERY OWN KEYS! tomorrow, im going to get my access card all ready to be bleeped, because i can do that! isnt that so very exciting? 

. im always excited at the thought of possessing keys. nothing makes me happier than having MY VERY OWN KEYS to tinker and toy with. i feel so cool and independent. i even know the reason behind this. its because only very recently did i recieve my first set of house keys. okay, so it was 3 years ago, but what im trying to say is that until 3 years ago, when i was 18, i wasnt even allowed to touch the house keys. my parents are extremely paranoid. so you can imagine how exciting this is for me.

. okay. ive just been hit with a flash of awesome. im going to write a piece on arts students stereotypes. and imma make it a biting piece!

. going back to original point. this is the second year in succession that i have both keys/access to something that is not inherently mine + access to Microsoft Outlook Express with my own unique mail id. last year i had MUISS keys and an email address designating my position at MUISS. this year i have access to my Honours room keys/cabinets and an email address with my name for my time at CNBC. i cant wait to see what happens next year.

. okay. onto more important things. i cracked two jokes today. the first i cracked in the capacity of many human beings, none of whom laughed. this just proves that im a homosapien with a very advanced sense of humour in a society with lesser mortals. the second joke i cracked to myself in private, and EACH and EVERYONE of my imaginary friends, mind you, each AND everyone of them applauded. again, please remember that you have to be very geographically gifted to comprehend the first joke and intertextuality outshining to get the second.

. 1st joke. 

so shangari was going to have lunch with me, which meant today that she was going to get lunch and i was going to watch her have lunch. santushi helped us get a free place. so she jostled a little to get to the free table before anyone else came. upon reaching, and with us following behind, she said, 'you know, i ran'. i replied, ' that's not the way to pronounce iran, its eeraan'.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. right?

. 2nd joke.

so what dyou think is going to happen with the netherlands match? Seelaar.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

. i love how so many people associate the letter B and the insect with me. its endearing that so many people call me by that petname.

. my day was made 3 times today. 

a. when almost every Faculty member who saw me walk past said 'Welcome Back, Abeer!'

b. when Rashaad came walking from 20 metres away, beaming at me, his toothy smile never waning, all those gums baring at me, and then we hugged and i felt so happy!

c. when i said hi to Sying. i came back home to find a tweet from her saying that i give good hugs. that was so, unexpected, and made me so happy!

. i think mila kunis was the most well-dressed woman on the red carpet. all because of that neckline. oyeaaaaah.

. when i find you, i hope you'll be happy with this idea. we'll take blown up baby pictures of ourselves, stand with them next to each other and smile toothily into the camera somewhere outdoors. wont that make a very pretty picture.

. i think im going to spend alot of time praying, specifying to God that i want you to be really into photography. for my very vain and personal reasons.

. you know you have the bestest friends in the world when they cheer you up and try to restore your faith in humanity by copy-pasting cheesy song lines that are meant to inspire you. 

. sheza gave me a bee-shaped keychain as a keepsake from Lanka. not very Lankan, but a very sweet thought nevertheless. i showed it to papa, who guessed the animal to be rhinoceros. and you dont even want to get me started on how he pronounced the animal's name.

. screw it. im in a sappy mood. i cant wait to fight with you about which movies to watch, me begging for some hindi flick and you insisting on some action-hormone-filled monstrosity. and just bickering about it. and then settling.

. i was informed today, that I am the Settler. go figure.