Abeer Yusuf's Tagline

I think I should have a tagline for when people just see me. 

It should be-

Abeer Yusuf

Wait till you get to know me.

I dont know why, but it makes all the sense in the world to me.

As a side note, Ive heard this amazing song for the first time yesterday after reading about Florence Welch performing it with A. R. Rahman at the Oscars. Its called If I Rise and has been sung by both Dido and A. R. There's a magical, calming quality in both their voices individually which Ive admired over the years, so this collaboration is pretty much a goldmine for me. I am also a complete sucker for songs that have a gentle piano playing, gunshots, children's voices and whistling. All separately of course. Or even combined. Okay, Imma shut up now because I feel weird.

P.S. Congratulations to us. This is our 200th post! 

The Birds And The Skies

This is a picture a very talented friend of mine took.

Dont you feel like it just belongs in a book? 

She is so taking my wedding pictures. Now I cant wait to have a boyfriend!

Abeer Appropriates!

. i had thought of an entirely awesome beginning for this edition of AA (haw haw!), but ive forgotten it.

. i remember it now. it was.

. i came back from india with 48 kilos of check-in baggage and an indian accent. the next 2 months are going to be very hard. quote unquote, 'dude, your accent's fucked'.

. this is the problem with me. i forgot all the awesome things i think of! i hate it when that happens. i wish my mind had a capture machine where i could store all my thoughts as and when they'd come to me, and then take them out of a bank to use them as i please. and blog about them, more importantly.

. i think its very sad that the highlight of Honours for me is the fact that i get my very own table, DESKTOP COMPUTER (OMYGOD) and tiny little space to decorate. its even sadder that at this point that is all im thinking of.

. before i forget, i came up with a brilliant insult out of the blue. lest i forget, i reproduce it here for your pleasure. 

'someone's left your asshole switch on for too long. its about time someone switched it off. that someone is me.'

. okay, so the line was supposed to sound a lot more suave than this. i sound like bruce willis about to pound the living daylights out of someone.

. so going back to original point. i came in to uni today for my first day and guess what? I HAVE MY VERY OWN KEYS! tomorrow, im going to get my access card all ready to be bleeped, because i can do that! isnt that so very exciting? 

. im always excited at the thought of possessing keys. nothing makes me happier than having MY VERY OWN KEYS to tinker and toy with. i feel so cool and independent. i even know the reason behind this. its because only very recently did i recieve my first set of house keys. okay, so it was 3 years ago, but what im trying to say is that until 3 years ago, when i was 18, i wasnt even allowed to touch the house keys. my parents are extremely paranoid. so you can imagine how exciting this is for me.

. okay. ive just been hit with a flash of awesome. im going to write a piece on arts students stereotypes. and imma make it a biting piece!

. going back to original point. this is the second year in succession that i have both keys/access to something that is not inherently mine + access to Microsoft Outlook Express with my own unique mail id. last year i had MUISS keys and an email address designating my position at MUISS. this year i have access to my Honours room keys/cabinets and an email address with my name for my time at CNBC. i cant wait to see what happens next year.

. okay. onto more important things. i cracked two jokes today. the first i cracked in the capacity of many human beings, none of whom laughed. this just proves that im a homosapien with a very advanced sense of humour in a society with lesser mortals. the second joke i cracked to myself in private, and EACH and EVERYONE of my imaginary friends, mind you, each AND everyone of them applauded. again, please remember that you have to be very geographically gifted to comprehend the first joke and intertextuality outshining to get the second.

. 1st joke. 

so shangari was going to have lunch with me, which meant today that she was going to get lunch and i was going to watch her have lunch. santushi helped us get a free place. so she jostled a little to get to the free table before anyone else came. upon reaching, and with us following behind, she said, 'you know, i ran'. i replied, ' that's not the way to pronounce iran, its eeraan'.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. right?

. 2nd joke.

so what dyou think is going to happen with the netherlands match? Seelaar.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. 

. i love how so many people associate the letter B and the insect with me. its endearing that so many people call me by that petname.

. my day was made 3 times today. 

a. when almost every Faculty member who saw me walk past said 'Welcome Back, Abeer!'

b. when Rashaad came walking from 20 metres away, beaming at me, his toothy smile never waning, all those gums baring at me, and then we hugged and i felt so happy!

c. when i said hi to Sying. i came back home to find a tweet from her saying that i give good hugs. that was so, unexpected, and made me so happy!

. i think mila kunis was the most well-dressed woman on the red carpet. all because of that neckline. oyeaaaaah.

. when i find you, i hope you'll be happy with this idea. we'll take blown up baby pictures of ourselves, stand with them next to each other and smile toothily into the camera somewhere outdoors. wont that make a very pretty picture.

. i think im going to spend alot of time praying, specifying to God that i want you to be really into photography. for my very vain and personal reasons.

. you know you have the bestest friends in the world when they cheer you up and try to restore your faith in humanity by copy-pasting cheesy song lines that are meant to inspire you. 

. sheza gave me a bee-shaped keychain as a keepsake from Lanka. not very Lankan, but a very sweet thought nevertheless. i showed it to papa, who guessed the animal to be rhinoceros. and you dont even want to get me started on how he pronounced the animal's name.

. screw it. im in a sappy mood. i cant wait to fight with you about which movies to watch, me begging for some hindi flick and you insisting on some action-hormone-filled monstrosity. and just bickering about it. and then settling.

. i was informed today, that I am the Settler. go figure.

Good Evening World. And Thank You.

I blog because I want you to fall in love with me.

that is all.

Abeer Appropriates!

. dont you just love the feel of carpet grass?

. is there anything more special than seeing kiron kher smile? i think not.

. ratna pathak looks amazing with silver hair. id like to think that i too, would look with nice grey, silver-y hair. o my ghod, i cant WAIT to grow old!

. i just know it. that when i get married, im going to be that bride who, while being asked by the kazi, if i accept (3 times over), will end up answering the kazi 'i accept' 2 times, but keeping the kazi (and dude who im going to marry) waiting before i say it the third time. just so people (and dude who im going to marry) heave a sigh of relief when i do finally say 'i accept'. because im a drama mama like that!

. is it just me or does the sentence above sound a little grammatically off?

. i know one thing for sure. my funeral is probably going to be one of the most awesome ones you've ever attended. everyone will wear colourful clothes and they will all be laughing at me and my ways!

. my papa hates it when i say 'and stuff', 'pissed off' and 'bucks'. go figure.

. Abeer Yusuf- Lighting Up Your Life Ji. 

I came up with that. I have my own tagline now. Isnt that so cool?

. when i came back, my papa was like, 'dyou know how much the phone bill was in your absence, in 2 months?' and i was like, 'how much?' he goes, '2 ringgit' (24 rupees or summat). when i was around, the phone bill would inevitably reach 150-200 ringgit. i responded, 'well, i was all for staying back in bombay and not increasing your phone bill, but you're the one who wanted me back. now you're going to have to pay!'

. am i the only human being who has noted something absolutely hilarious in the side profile pictures of captains for upcoming World Cup matches? Dear Graphics team covering the WC, they look like side profile mug shots!

. i finished dona nicanora's hat shop in like 2 days. ive completed 2 books in 5 days. i feel like im getting my mojo jojo back.

. there is a song in a movie called Anjaana Anjaani. Anjaana Anjaani means Stranger (Male), Stranger (Female). theres the title track, which is obviously Anjaana Anjaani. now whats of interest is that there's this particular lyric in the song which goes, 'I met a boy and his name is Anjaana/I met a girl and her name is Anjaani'. just think about this logically. what kind of parent would name their child, stranger?

. udaan has the best soundtrack hands down. pity it takes 7 filmfare awards for a movie of that splendour to be visible. also, would anyone have a copy of A Hard Day's Night? or Seriously Funny Kids? or The President is Coming? if the last title rhymes with a porn movie of a similar title, no, i dont want that, i want the Hindi movie. please and thank you.

Mama O Mama!

. So to me, being Bhindi Bazaar is not a good thing. Not as a personal insult to anyone, but stereotypically I associate BB to loud, crass-ness, aunties with very bad and loud dressing sense, loads of caked make-up and whatnot. It also means clashing colours and poor taste and loud and obnoxious, oblivious behaviour. So anything that doesnt go, or isnt right, is in my dictionary, Bhindi Bazaar. Of course, you know Bhindi Bazaar as a place in South Bombay, known better as Bombay No. 1/2. So today, Mama said something. I replied, 'Chi, you're so Bhindi Bazaar'. My mum responded, 'O yeah? Well you're three in one- you're Dharavi, Behram and Naupada all in one!' All these places are largely slum like/low-cost housing areas, which, on any better day, is much worse than Bhindi Bazaar.

. Mama was repeating a conversation she'd had with Ira, our help. She was regaling how Ira had broken the bucket on wheels that we have, and that when Mama asked her to put the handle back on the broken bucket, Ira replied that she couldnt 'pisang pisang, pusing pusing' the bucket. She meant pasang, which means put back on. Pisang means banana and pusing, turning.

If You Know An Abeer...

Chances are that he's a Bengali boy and his name is spelt Obir/Abir.

Story of my life.

You and Me, We'll Make Our Dream Team

. I'm a little alone now, but it's okay, I'll survive.

. One day, I'll become something.

. Till then, I'll wait.

. Of course, if you keep me waiting for too long, I'll get bored.

. But then you'll come along and ask me to do this. And make me the happiest girl in the world.

. I'll get a job painting the sky, becuase you'd have made me so happy.

. We'll take the plunge. Freefall. And not regret it.

. We will grow old on a pillow.

. We will see the world.

. And then create our own.

. Some days we'll be very happy with them.

. And some days we'll just sigh.

. But almost always, we'll have a party!

. That is it. You, me and our dream team.

Abeer Appropriates!

. one of my fondest memories as a child was being at Singapore airport. at that point of time, there was no direct mumbai-kl flights, and we'd go to singapore, and hop on the plane from there to bombay. i loved the airport. there was a beautiful koi pond, it had the best carpet and i would always look out for Arnold Ss' Planet Hollywood statue whenever we'd go there, because it was quite near the Prayer Room. i really wish i could go back to being a child, sitting at Singapore airport.

. one of my other most favourite memories is of the time i was in Kuwait. since i was small there isnt much i remember, but i do know bits and pieces from here and there. what i loved the most was going to this particular grocery store there, where they had shopping carts for kids. so while your papa and mama were buying their groceries, you got the chance to wheel your very own cart, which was in my size! i just loved that. i hope i can live somewhere in the future where my children can do that too.

. vishal bharadwaj has a lovely soaky voice. evidence.

. geotagging is scary. its extremely scary. it may be fun when you want to show your friends where you are, but its scary beyond belief. people should stop geotagging. they really should.

. papa said that i could go watch india pakistan live if they face off each other. i hope they meet each other in the finals. its always been a dream of mine to watch a india pakistan match at wankhede.

. isnt there something extremely sensual about priyanka chopra's lips? i cant look beyond them when i look at her.

. christchurch, i cry for you.

You And I Can Only Be Two Of These Four

I just saw a really interesting article on the DailyMail (shh!) and thought about reproducing it in its entirety because I thought it was that interesting.
I bear no ownership to the article and its contents and the original link is this.

Who knows why Brad Pitt chose Angelina Jolie over Jennifer Aniston or why Helena Bonham-Carter prefers to live in a separate house to her long-term partner Tim Burton?

The course of true love is a complex combination of personality, circumstance, upbringing and timing, but an eminent U.S. anthropologist claims to have uncovered a key secret to why some relationships work and others prove to be a little more tricky.

After 30 years of studying the science of romantic love, Dr Helen Fisher is convinced that attraction is closely linked to the chemistry of your personality type and how it matches — or clashes — with that of your chosen partner.

Dr Fisher’s research indicates we can be divided into four very different personality types — explorers, builders, directors and negotiators — based on the way our body produces and reacts to the brain chemicals dopamine and serotonin, and the hormones testosterone and oestrogen.

If dopamine tends to dominate your personality, she believes you will have a tendency to seek novelty. People in this group are termed explorers.

When serotonin dominates, the guiding personality traits tend to be calmness, loyalty, a fondness of rules and facts, and order. Because this group tend to be skilled at building social networks, she calls this group builders.

Those with high levels of testosterone (whether male or female) fall into a section called directors because they are direct, decisive, tough-minded, exacting and good at strategic thinking.

Finally, personalities dominated by the hormone oestrogen (again, this affects men and women) are dubbed negotiators because they are highly imaginative and empathetic, with great verbal and social skills as well as being adept at connecting disparate facts.

Dr Fisher believes we are all a combination of two personality types, but one will dominate, influencing our behaviour — including our choice of mate.

She says the success or failure of any relationship will depend to a great extent on how our dominating personality traits match, meet or clash with those of our partner.

‘There will always be magic to love, but knowledge is power,’ says Dr Fisher. ‘If you know who you are, what you seek and how you and others love, you can capture that magic, find and keep real love, and make your dreams come true.’
Find your personality type...

Use Dr Fisher’s quiz to identify your two dominant personality traits, determine who is your best match and why your relationships do — or don’t — work...

Read the statements and give them marks depending on whether you strongly disagree (zero), disagree (one), agree (two), or strongly agree (three) with each.

Then add up your total score for each section. The two top scores indicate your primary and secondary personality types.

EXPLORER

1. I like unpredictable situations.
2. I act on the spur of the moment.
3. I get bored with familiar things.
4. I have a wide range of interests.
5. I am more optimistic than most.
6. I am more creative than most.
7. I am always looking for new experiences.
8. I am always doing new things.
9. I am very enthusiastic.
10. I am willing to take risks.

BUILDER

1. I like consistent routines.
2. I respect authority.
3. I consider every option thoroughly before making a plan.
4. I enjoy planning a long way ahead.
5. I follow rules.
6. Taking care of my possessions is a high priority for me.
7. My friends and family would say I have traditional values.
8. I am meticulous in my duties.
9. I tend to be cautious.
10. People should behave in ways that are morally correct.

DIRECTOR

1. I understand complex machines.
2. I enjoy competitive conversations.
3. I am intrigued by rules that govern systems.
4. I am analytical and logical.
5. I pursue intellectual topics.
6. I solve problems without emotion.
7. I like figuring out how things work.
8. I am tough-minded.
9. I enjoy a strong debate.
10. I've no trouble making choices.

NEGOTIATOR

1. I like to know my friends’ feelings.
2. I highly value emotional intimacy.
3. I listen to my heart on decisions.
4. I frequently daydream.
5. I can change my mind easily.
6. After watching an emotional film, I feel moved by it hours later.
7. I have a vivid imagination.
8. I am very empathetic.
9. I get lost in my thoughts.
10. I feel emotions very deeply.


EXPLORERS

GOOD TRAITS: Explorers are flexible and generous with money, time and ideas. They are willing to take risks to enjoy new, intense and exhilarating adventures, and can be impulsive and uninhibited.

BAD TRAITS: Their desire for adventure can lead to philandering. They tend to divorce more regularly than others.

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Use your creativity to bond with a negotiator, be patient with a builder, ignore competitive comments from a director and if you meet another explorer, revel in the excitement of finding a true playmate.

BUILDERS

GOOD TRAITS: Builders are pillars of society. Loyal and conscientious, they are conventional with a high sense of duty, respectability and proper moral conduct.

BAD TRAITS: They feel they have a ‘right’ way of doing things, which can appear stubborn.

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: With an explorer, contain your questions. Ignore a director’s tendency to make quick decisions. Talk about yourself with a negotiator. Another builder will appreciate you for who you are.

DIRECTORS

GOOD TRAITS: Directors are tough-minded and independent. They seek ‘intelligence’ in a mate.

BAD TRAITS: They can be outspoken and blunt, and are not particularly sociable. They can shun emotional connections with their love ones.

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: Enjoy exploring ideas with an explorer. Let a negotiator examine all the angles of a discussion. Answer the builder’s questions. And if you’re with another director, don’t neglect love.

NEGOTIATORS

GOOD TRAITS: Negotiators are unassuming, agreeable and intuitive. They love people and want to be liked. They are considerate, forgiving and diplomatic.

BAD TRAITS: They may be susceptible to depression. When betrayed, a negotiator can be unforgiving.

RELATIONSHIP ADVICE: If you’re dating an explorer, don’t take their charm seriously until you’re sure they’re interested in you. Remember that a builder is not asking you questions in order to criticise you. If you’re with a director, get to the point. If you’re dating another negotiator, avoid endless analysis of the relationship.


SO ARE YOU TRULY COMPATIBLE?

In a study of nearly 30,000 people, Dr Helen Fisher has confirmed her belief that
serendipity has nothing to do with love — it is our biological temperament that steers us towards a particular personality type as a romantic partner. Her study found:

* Explorers are most likely to pick other explorers and least likely to choose directors.
* Builders are most likely to opt for other builders and least likely to settle with negotiators.
* Directors are most likely to choose negotiators and least likely to fall for builders.
* Negotiators are most likely to choose directors. Female negotiators are least likely to choose explorers. Male negotiators are least likely to choose builders.
* Statistically, explorers often have a tough time long-term with other explorers (these sensation-seekers are more likely to divorce).
* The safe, loyal builder/builder combination is probably responsible for most of the world’s 50-year marriages.
* Directors are tough-minded, direct, decisive, focused,
technically skilled and competitive — all traits many negotiators need. On the other hand, negotiators are socially skilled, talented with words, mentally flexible and compassionate — traits many directors need.

‘There is no bad match,’ says Dr Fisher. ‘Each type of partnership has different strengths and weaknesses — and a different combination of essential traits.’

Mama O Mama!

There is no experience as superior as watching Mama watch cricket. She understands the basics of the game, but anything finer or intricate like an LBW or silly point or what-have-you, she doesnt get, for which she relies on the commentator and Papa for explanation. I'll admit, I dont know what a lbw is either, apart from what it stands for, but I think I know more than her. Anyway, just to let you all know, from now on, you'll be seeing alot of posts on Mama and the ICC WC. And it will be injected with alot of humour. Cases in point are as follows.

So yesterday we were watching Zimbabwe v. Australia and obviously we were a little taken aback with the Zimbabwean names. So there was this one name, Chigumbura, which sounds like a place in rural Australia to me, but to Mama, it sounds like 'chiggum'. Chiggum is desi talk for chewing gum.

Today, we're watching the Netherlands take on the Engerlands. 

I saw this player called Prior, and I didnt know what his first name was, so I asked Mama what it was. She goes, 'Dont you know that there's nothing prior to Prior?'

Whattay genuis yaar.

So this one dude was playing, and his name's Bas Zuiderent. Turns out this *was* the exact same name I was looking for, of the captains at the Press photocall. I deviate, but point is, when I saw him, I was like, O, Bhhara. Bhhara means rent in Hindi, and is pronounced with a very strong 'r' sound. And my mum's like yeah, there's everyone in this team- bas, bicycle, everyone. Then my mum goes, you know, actually there's a Barish in the team. For those who dont know, barish in Hindi/Urdu means rain. 

So Mr. Rent got out, and while he was walking towards the pavilion, the image feed stopped, so it was like he was frozen there. With his aston and all. I cracked a brilliant joke. I said 'O look. Bas ka picture stop ho gaya. The tv guy must have said, Bas. Stop!'

Bas means stop, or enough in Urdu/Hindi. 

Arent I so funny?

Id also like to say something. I'd love to be a Lankan just to say that I belong to the same country as someone like Kumar Sangakkara, since he's so gorgeous and speaks so well, but that Id hate to belong to the country just because it'd also mean that Id be sharing the same far-out gene pool with the likes of Lasith Malinga. But then again id probably still want to be Lankan, because I could associate myself with the gem of a man that is Mr. Murlidharan. Hes got a heart of gold yknow?

Dear Mr.

Daniel Vettori

Ross Taylor

Kumar Sangakkara

AB de Villiers

This is just for your information. I own a Victoria's Secret fragrance called Love Spell.

One day sirs.

One day.

Good Afternoon World.

This used to be my favourite song as a child.

It still is.

I used to crack up the volume of the car stereo when the karela and birthday part would come on.

Abeer Appropriates!

. i left home, for home. i dont quite like the feeling of being back home for the first time in my life. something about falling back into the same grind of things and dealing with demons of a domestic fashion.

. i would like to invent a quote. that quote would be something to this effect- 'for everything good that happens, something equally bad takes place'.

. i have learnt that from experience. so i had a really horrible time with the graduation dress episode, which i havent been able to talk to anyone about, but this really awesome thing happened because of which it was all okay in the end. however, in place of that, ive forgotten my entire pink folder which contains ALL my certificates and allocades. ugh!

. we came by Air Asia. obviously there was no inflight entertainment. i was trying very hard while at home to finish that awesome book, The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society book, but it wasnt working out because of the insane load of work we had. i think its quite sad that it took me a plane ride depleted of in-flight entertainment to read a book. but it was such good fun, that when i read a particular line, i started laughing my head off, and this firaang sitting perpendicularly opposite in front of me, kept staring back.

. everytime i laugh while reading a book, i feel like this man.

. and everytime i see that man, i wonder what book he was reading.

. i will dance to these songs to my wedding- the dhinchak one, and the lyrical one.

. back to the original topic. i was halfway through the book when i began reading it in the plane, and the uncle sitting next to me was reading a Grisham, entitled The Confession i think. i talked to him a little, just little tittle-tattle Abeer-style, offered him candy that Mama passed to me, and he asked me what book i was reading. i passed it onto him to read, and he fell in love with it too. he now has the book, is in KL for 7 days and will return the book when he's done with it.

. because only a book-devourer knows the value of a good book.

. i love uttering the phrase 'in my unesteemed and uneducated opinion'. i try and include it everywhere i need to project my opinion. its such a pseudo-humble phrase, its gives you the passport to be completely irrational and bigoted. in my unesteemed and uneducated opinion at least.

. i was kind of offered 2 jobs by 2 media channels. blessed, i am. AH.

. india is awesome because indians make Parle-G biscuits.

. i love Kit Kats.

Dear Ranmali,

I was quite bereft at the thought that my name would never sound quite as cool as if it were beginning with a Q, feeling resigned at the fate that I was to forever more sign off as an A. 

Until you came into the picture and resolved this algorithm for me, enlightening me to the fact that I could sign off as Quintessentially Abeer.

Indebted to you forever,

Q.

Dont you just love it when an airplane swoons and swoops across the city, giving you a taste of the city's landscape?