2o11.

 so i decided to be conventional and post a end-of-the-year post, because im such a conformist like that. newsflash- i wished for daniel vettori/ross taylor this christmas but found neither of them in my 6-feet stocking. santa, if you're reading this (and i know you are) i am truly very upset with you. if you couldnt manage the real thing, you could certainly have sent a doppelganger. your ratings are going waaaaaaaaay down sir. o wait, looks like im not such a conformist after all.

this isn't more about what happened in 2o1o and what didnt, rather a post about what i would like to see happening in 2o11, as a result of things that have happened in 2o1o.

first, foremost and most importantly all thrown in together, i have a very specific demand 2o11. 2o1o was extremely memorable for me, in many ways, and i do not want that anymore. i dont want the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.

2o11, consider this begging- but i want you to be stable. you can subtract my fair share of both happiness and unhappiness, but i want stability. i will miss the happiness, but if that means that unhappiness also stays at bay, i dont mind the exchange.

i graduated in 2o1o, i will again in 2o11 (fingers crossed)

i found new best friends and lost a few friends

i started blogging

i got an internship at india's number 1 business channel

i saw myself through student council and the most difficult semester ever to be dealt with

i am dealing with things that have put me down, low and out

i had the best [21st] birthday anyone on earth could ever ask for (thank you All of You again, i loved every minute of that day!)

i heard the best jokes

i worked with some of the best people (isnt it amazing how God's sent some of the most brilliant people to Monash KL)

i found my head and who i was under difficult circumstances

i know the mistakes i made and i hope i never have to see them again, or make them again

most importantly im still alive, breathing, a little under the weather but physically okay.

special mention to the number 7. i never thought this would happen to me, and id estimated the number to be at 4. yknow? but 7 was really surprising. and yknow what 2o11? special post-it note for you- make it 3 year but make them awesome. else, 8. so its like half of good or all of crap. haw haw.

before you start thinking im an idiot, heres what i do want in 2o11:

. friends to weather bad weather with and share the joys of the good weather

. enjoy my field of study to the maximum and make the most of the opportunity

. concentrate on honours till no end so i can do the best i can do (is that silly?)

. live to see more opportunites come my way

. be okay

i also hope you're making no new years resolutions. because lets face it- they're so lame. at least i think so. here's one song id like you to end your year with. 

 

having said all that, perhaps there is no better time for sending out a letter than the turn of the year. therefore this open letter is addressed to the one entity that i, just take a look at it will you!

                                                       ___________________________

dear happiness,

it seems as though you have forgotten my address. you know im in india right now, dont you? please skipalong and come back to me. i miss you A Lot and you almost never visit. whenever you're here, you're only here for a while. what have i done to upset you so that you keep leaving so suddenly, so quickly and take so much time to return? also, your friend 2o11 is coming home soon. please come with him and this time, stay. 

lots of love,

your friend.

ps. i know im a hypocrite like that. so sue me.

and here's a song i'd like you to keep with you always- in good times and bad. 

ouch.

that is all.

Good Morning World.

You know there are some days when you just cant stop smiling?

Well, today was that day for me, on the way to work.

The reason was absolutely nothing.

Except

for

HAPPINESS!

I was like grinning like I'd just found new love.

These songs doubled my happiness.

What made it perfect was that the kaali-peeli wala ( a much more awesome take on cabbie )

was drumming the songs on his steering wheel.

DDLJ. OYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

No one did the 90s like YashRaj did.

Also, is it just me, or does the following line sound like something a stalker would do:

"Dekhe door door se, mujhe ghoor ghoor ke,

Use kaho, kabhi saamne toh aaye".

NO KAJOL. Dont invite STALKERS. You'll get enough worthy attention anyway.

And...

Double whammy!

TWO COMPLETELY DESI DHINCHAK SONGS.

You'd be this happy too if it were you in the taxi!

Merry Christmas!

Now who would like to invite me home for a warm Christmas dinner?

Or even a round of carolling.

I love Christmas, and one day, I shall spend it doing the above activities.

Mama O Mama!

. so mama made the most desi-mistake ever possible. we were talking about something, and she's like, "just give her the burgerberry bag". she meant burberry. 

. so we were at a dinner last night, and through conversation, this aunty tells mama, "i couldnt mail it to you because i dont have your email address". i added, "even she doesnt have her own email address". i think its highly hilarious, but no one else laughed apart from me, which is a testament to the bad humour everyone else around me has.

day one.

11am.

1o.3oam.

waiting-20 minutes.

form.

cnbc id card- press pass inclusive.

ankit the anchor.

happy birthday. 'the 14th of december is an awesome day to be born'.

devika c- ace intern says hello.

vtr tapes.

lunch.

rawa halwa- maharashtran speciality (ankits' offering)

live telecast room.

news desk HELLO!

ticker team.

suresh.

palladium.

shoot. town cars.

trupti.

free mango barfi.

burnt tongue- elaichi chai.

'you just have to throw a fit'.

shoot at wtf.

'i hired you because of your name'.

taxi-3o minute wait.

helpful mumbaikar.

rajendra tiwari- taxi uncle, allahabadi.

AFTER 1 YEAR, I HAD TANDOORI CHIKAAN- INTACT WITH ITS FAKE COLOURING GOODNESS. Bombay is the Best, Boss!

ps. did you know that Kolkota's airport is called Dum Dum? now toh i must go. just to be able to land there!

pps. did you also know that there is a road in Baroda (Gujarat) called Oldpadra Road? That translates into Old Farter Road. HAHAHA.

ppps. remind me to show you an awesome picture i took today, at the mahim wala road.

pppps. what the HELL are hi-definition contact lens?

so this is a wlog post.

. reasons why its a Wlog and not a Vlog are explained later on in the video.

. id also like to highlight that i decided not to transform into something ultra-presentable because i wanted to make it as natural as possible. i mean, i could have worn better clothes and not just done this in my jammies, but yknow, i decided not to. it was a conscious decision. promise.

. that black thing in the background is my hair. im thinking of giving it a name, but i dont have suggestions yet.

. i know the audio is horrible. sorry. ill do better next time.

. if you'd like to be humoured even more than you already are, i suggest you watch this video on youtube and look at all the suggestions on the right hand side. yeap, they're all about beer.

. cameo- my mum's legs.
. soundtrack- the mini fan whirring from the ceiling and road rage-d mumbaikars.

. no. that really IS the way i laugh.

Mama O Mama!

. so we were at home, and just done with lunch. i took over dish-washing duties and while pointing to her ear, mama's like, 'where's the this for the that' (iske liye woh kahan hai?). she was looking for a Q-tip to clean her ears out, but evidently her mind was the muddled element here, because she ultimately found the name for the Q-tip and went, 'wheres the toothpick?'

. later on, i went in to sleep with her and she says, 'this is where i love having you. right with me'. and i asked her why. she replied, 'because i know that when you're with me, you're the safest. right in front of me, right with me. and i know my home is right by my side'. (one day, i wish to have a man who'd echo the same feelings for me. is that like gross?)

. mama toh mama khala bhi Subhan Allah. my maternal aunt wanted some dishes and while trying to ask for some melamine plates, says 'give me those melanine plates'.

. before coming here, i was reviewing a CD of mine, where i reported on the Monash Carnival '08. its sort of very lame, because its just me going around talking to random people from random stalls. but for some reason, i was extremely happy then and just going about being my jolly ol' self. so i put it on just to see if it was working, and lo and behold! mama's right behind me. she soon finds out that its me reporting and proceeds to scrutinising and criticising everything i was doing- which was mainly being happy. she's like 'you keep laughing at everything. youre going to make a pathetic journalist. you'll be talking about a tsunami, and you'll land into a fit of giggles'. to make matters worse, there was a part where i started giggling because this really silly thing happened that still makes me laugh. its not important though to this story. so mama goes into the loo shaking her head, muttering how hopeless i was, and right before she closes the bathroom door, she goes, 'abeer, do me a favour. make a copy of this CD and leave it outside. whenever i'll feel sad, i'll just look at this and start laughing'. then she closes the door, opens it, and says, 'o look. complacent'.

perspective.

just when you think your life is horrible, couldnt get any worse, and is the absolute pits, something no one else should ever be subjected to, perspective comes along.

for me, it was this article.

i hope you revel in it as much as i did.

heroism. courage. life.

Balle Balle!

This is something I have wanted to tell people for quite some time now, but have conveniently forgotten time and again. Bad me, because this is THAT epic.

So in February or summat, I went to watch Valentine's Day with a friend.

The most notable scene for me, was nothing else but the Jessica Biel-thrown party where everyone converges at an Indian restuarant. 

Scenes take place, dialogues are said, and later you see all these Indian people dancing.

Jamie Foxx and Jessica Biel join them too.

While he's leaving or coming back (or something I dont care to remember), he sees a reveller (there's also a wedding reception going on simultaneously) and says,

'Balle Balle!'

Now, we all know what that means, but to the transcriber, it must have meant something else,

because the Malay subtitles came out as,

'Perut Perut!'

I think I was the only one who got the joke and saw the mistake he made. Evidently the person thought Jamie was saying Belly Belly, which logically translates into Perut Perut.

Lets Perut Perut to that shall we?

Notable Achievement of the Day

I, Abeer Yusuf, changed a lightbulb.

Single-handedly.

No, just because I'm Indian doesn't mean I was necessarily dancing. I really did change a lightbulb. I dont know why, but I feel ridiculously talented. Yeah, I'll just go sit in my Box of Shame now thankyewverymuch.

world's most interactive blog feature. really.

okay, for this to work, obviously, as it is interactive, it requires YOUR participation.

so here's what you have to do.

step 1. say the first thing that comes to your mind when you think of me, out loud. remember, the first thing you think of when you think of me (i would be beyond honoured if you think of anything non-alcoholic). out loud.

step 2. scroll down.

consider that my reaction.
now tell me that this is NOT the most interactive feature you have ever seen.
and yes, have a brilliant day.